Never just a blip in time
by Jutta Sherlocked Holmes
Summary: My little contribution to the stories of Captain Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones - Here you can find my Janto Oneshots, sometimes fluffy, sometimes angsty. I hope you enjoy reading :) As always, I hope that you excuse any language mistakes, as English is not my mother tongue, but I always try to do my best. Comments are highly appreciated!
1. Ways of love

**WAYS OF LOVE **

_Romance, Hurt/Comfort, a bit of Angst_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones_

_Words: 1470_

_Set right after the ending of "Something borrowed", when Jack sits in his office and looks at the photograph of his own wedding. I tried to deal a bit with the special relationship between Gwen and Jack. In my opinon, they do love each other, and not in the way that Jack loves his team and Torchwood in general - but also not in the way that he loves Ianto! So this is what I could imagine of what happened in the office. Hope you like it :)_

Jack sat in his office, an old metal box on the desk in front of him. He was far, far away... in his past. He glanced down at the old black and white photograph in his hands and thought of his wedding, so many years ago. A smile brightened up his face. His index finger brushed over the beautiful young woman in the picture.

Sarah. She was one of the faces he would never forget, no matter what things he was about to see in his unwanted eternal life. He still dreamed of her, from time to time, even though he hadn't thought of her in quite a while lately. Not since...

"You really love her, don't you?"

Jack blinked, finding his way back to the present. He turned to the entrance of his office where he found Ianto leaning against the door, a half-hearted smile on his face. Jack signaled him to come closer. He nodded down at the photograph.

"Sarah Rebecca Grey", he said with pride in his voice. "Actually, already Mrs. Harkness by then. The only one I ever did marry. I was so young back then, can you believe it? We both were, nothing could stop us - no social expectations, not her father - oh, I remember that guy- not my immortality. I don't think that I had realised back then what it actually means, being immortal-" Jack stopped and cleared his throat. He reached for Ianto's hand and pressed it, still staring at the photograph. "And yeah, I really did love her..."

Ianto shifted uncomfortably and Jack looked up. "That's... um... she's... beautiful...", the younger man murmured and bit his lip, avoiding to look at him. "But... actually, I wasn't talking about _her_." Ianto smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

For a moment, Jack frowned in confusion before he realised what Ianto meant.

"Gwen", he said into the silence of the hub, his voice implying both a statement and a question. "You think..."

"It's quite obvious, isn't it?" Again, Ianto shrugged his shoulders, still keeping up the smile.

"She just married Rhys!", Jack replied with a half-hearted laugh.

"She did. So?"

Jack let go of Ianto's hand. In thoughts, he lived once more through Gwen's wedding day. He felt the bitterness in his heart as he thought of her, happy with Rhys, off to their honeymoon, not needing him. _Gwen. My beautiful, brilliant Gwen._ He raised an eyebrow as he realised the simple truth of Ianto's words.

"I-" Jack didn't know what to answer. He glanced at Ianto, his Ianto, suddenly looking so lost. "It's not like that", he said with determination. "Not like it was with Sarah. Not like... us."

"I-I-I know... but...", Ianto stammered, quickly turning around and moving away. "Sorry, I... I shouldn't have... it's just..."

"Ianto, wait!", Jack called and stood up as the young man wanted to leave his office. He went to him and put his arms around his waist, pulling him close. "Please", he murmured. Ianto didn't look at him.

Jack tried to think of a response to his words - the way Ianto had said them, they were not even an accusation, just a simple statement; and moreover he thought how he could possibly respond to their truth. A sudden thought crossed his mind - he imagined standing there, like that, in the middle of the night, with Gwen, and he couldn't help laughing.

Ianto gave him a strange look. "What is it?", he asked, trying to pull out of Jacks embrace, but the Captain just wrapped one arm tightly around his back while he pulled Ianto's face towards his with his free hand and kissed him. "Just had a funny thought", he mumbled against the welsh man's mouth, tenderly stroking his neck.

Ianto didn't give in to it, completely confused by now. "I don't understand-", he started but Jack shut him up with a gesture of his hand.

"Just listen - you know, I mean it, Ianto. I mean _this_", he said awkwardly, vaguely pointing at the both of them. "You're right, you know - Ianto Jones, you're always right. But you're a fool." Ianto narrowed his eyes as Jack continued. "I love Gwen. I do. And I love Tosh, and grumpy-old Owen, and Torchwood... and the Doctor, wherever he is. But that's just different. Different from- this."

Ianto blinked. "I... I... You and Gwen - I see you. How you look at each other, how you're always watching her- you never look this way at Tosh or Owen, ha-hn. It's... some sort of longing..." Ianto hesitated, avoiding to glance at Jack, and finally speaking with a sadness that made Jack's heart cringe. "You need each other, and you're afraid of losing her, Jack."

Jack flinched at Ianto's words, as calm they were spoken. He opened his mouth to contradict but any words he could have said were stuck in his throat.

"I know that you're right", he finally whispered, staring down at his feet. He felt exhausted, uncertain, tired. He linked his fingers with Ianto's, longing for the other man's touch. "But... you forget something..." Slowly, he raised his eyes again to meet Ianto's. His voice was low as he said: "I need you, too."

He remembered dancing with Gwen earlier this evening, and Ianto cutting in. He remembered his surprise as Ianto turned towards him and not Gwen, as Jack had expected at first - Ianto Jones, dancing with him, in public! He remembered watching the happiness on Gwen's face as she went over to Rhys, and the melancholic sadness that had filled him as he'd realised that-

_That I can never have that. Not again, and never the way she does. One day, she'll be able to choose. Choose to leave all this behind. And, oh - what a choice! If only I ever- Normality. Living a domestic life. Growing old with someone. Someone like..._

Jack glanced at the man in front of him. _Is that what he's thinking? He's got it wrong. It's not Gwen I would want to grow old with._

"I _need you_", Jack repeated steadily. Just now it was that he noticed the tears in Ianto's eyes.

"But... will I ever be enough?" With a sob, Ianto's trembling voice broke and he covered his face with his hands, once again about to turn away.

"Ianto!", Jack exclaimed, quickly wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight as he cried.

"Sometimes... I'm... I'm afraid, Jack... that I... that I'm just...", Ianto stammered through the tears, holding on to the older man and resting his head against his chest.

"Ianto Jones, my foolish, foolish Ianto Jones", Jack whispered, pulling away just to take Ianto's face into his hands and forcing him to look at him. "You are. You _are _enough... actually, that's not right, 'cause you're so much more! You're... everything." The moment he said it, Jack knew that it was true, that he really meant it. His heart was so full with affection for the man in front of him that it hurt. "Want to hear my funny thought?", he asked smiling. "I thought about standing here, right here, right now, with Gwen. And it made me laugh. 'Cause there are many ways of love, believe me, I'm old enough to know a few of them... and whatever there is or might be, I wouldn't want _her _here, I wouldn't want Sarah here, or anyone else than _you_, Ianto Jones."

It didn't take anymore. Ianto's whole expression changed from one second to another. His face suddenly lit up and his eyes sparkled with desire. He wiped away the tears from his face, and then he kissed Jack with a yearning as if nothing but the two of them existed anymore. Jack closed his eyes as he kissed him back hard, their tongues entangled in their opened mouths.

They were completely lost in each other, already starting to rip off their clothes, but then they stopped for a moment, both devouring the other one with their glances, longing and so in love.

They spoke simultanously; "Jack, I-" - "Ianto Jones-"

They started laughing, both awkwardly caught up in their words and the thing they both wanted to say, those little words that meant so much; they grinned and glanced at each other with the innocence of teenagers...

Ianto signaled him to begin, so Jack cleared his throat, trying to bring himself together. Gently, he stroked the younger man's cheek and smiled, through and through happy, and for the first time in years actually wanting to say it-

The sound of the rift alarm made them both flinch, and in the flashing red light that announced another danger for the planet earth, the special moment passed as they went off to hunt down whatever had come through the rift this time.


	2. Coffee magic

**COFFEE MAGIC**

_*no idea what genre I should choose for this one*_

_Jack Harkness_

_Words: 159_

_Something really short that just came to my mind, set a long time after Children of Earth and Torchwood..._

He threw his head back and laughed out loud before he took a sip of the coffee. His eyes widened in awe.

"Wow, gotta say, this coffee's really good. Haven't had such a good one in years", he smiled, and then he leaned back, in that typical manner of his, crossing his arms in front of his chest, and grinning as he said: "You know, I had this boyfriend once who could work some really special coffee magic-" Suddenly, he stopped, and the grin froze on his face while his gaze wandered off to a distant place... some place long buried and forgotten.

_"Jack?"_

He blinked. Just for a moment, there was a wet shine in his eyes. Then he laughed again. "Wish you could've met him. He really would have liked you." He shook his head with a smirk, only a last glimpse of sadness on him, as he took another sip and murmured: "Jones, Ianto Jones."


	3. Coming Home

**COMING HOME  
**

_Romance_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones_

_Words: 619_

_One of the things I love about their relationship is how Ianto takes care of Jack when he died(especially the scene in CoE Day 4). This is a little something about how it might have started: Jack and Ianto weevil hunting(literally ;)) as it happens - but as Jack comes back this time, Ianto is there for him._

_..._

Jack came back to life with a gasp as if he'd been holding his breath for too long, shooting up and breathing heavily, trying to orientate and remember what had happened. It took him a moment until he became aware of his surroundings and realised that there were hands on his shoulders and that he was staring right into Ianto's face.

"Ianto-", Jack panted, blinking in order to focus, suddenly remembering where he was and what had happened. "Did you get the weevil?"

Ianto frowned and shook his head. "No", he said calmly, caressing Jack's arm.

Jack stretched himself and cleared his throat. "Damn it, Ianto, why didn't you go after it?"

"It's just a weevil."

"Yeah, just a weevil, just a weevil that already killed two people and could kill even more right now!", the Captain exclaimed angrily and moved to stand up, but Ianto pushed him gently, yet determined back to the ground.

"It just killed _you_", the younger man responded, tightening his grip.

"That's not the same."

Jack looked into Ianto's eyes and saw concern and a hint of hurt in them. Then he glanced down at his own shirt, ripped and bloody where the weevil had got him. The first shock of coming back to life and the arguing with Ianto had repressed the pain in the beginning, but now he felt it again, sharp and burning and as sudden as a punch in the stomach. A groan left his mouth before he could stop it, enough for Ianto to notice. "Jack? Are you okay?"

"It's nothing", he replied harsher than he had intended. He shrugged his shoulders and added a bit softer: "Had better days, I guess."

He wasn't sure if it was the sad, resigned smile on Ianto's face after his words or the new wave of pain that ran through his body, but Jack sighed and leaned back, resting his weight on his hands. "It still hurts. It always does. I'm still healing, y'know. But it's just for a few days. I'll manage."

"I'm sorry", Ianto whispered and closed his eyes. Jack could hear the compassion and the affection in the younger man's voice. "I'm sorry that you're in pain."

Jack leaned forward and stroked Ianto's cheek. "It's okay", he murmured. "Thank you. Thank you, Ianto Jones, for taking care of me."

Ianto opened his eyes and they glanced at each other. "Always."

Then, suddenly, they were kissing passionately, caressing and holding each other, until they were out of breath. They rested their foreheads against one another's and didn't move or speak for a few moments.

Finally, Jack shifted. The worst of the pain had gone for now, and he had died often enough to know how to ignore the dull, pounding ache that remained. He took Ianto's face into his hands and kissed him again, gently this time. "Still some work to do", he whispered with a hint of regret. "But you're right - just a weevil. We'll call Tosh, shouldn't be a problem for her to trace it for us."

Ianto smiled and nodded, than he stood up and stretched his hand out to help Jack to his feet.

...

Several hours later, Jack watched the locked up weevil down in the cells of the Hub, still pondering about what had happened earlier. He remembered the grip of Ianto's hands on his shoulders, the concerned look on his face...

So many years of dying and coming back. It had been a long while since someone had been there for him when he woke up - like, actually _been there_, actually _caring for him_ the way Ianto had this evening. Jack smiled.

_It feels good. Safe. It feels like... coming home._


	4. In the middle of the night

**IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT**

_Romance, maybe hurt/comfort? (sorry, I'm really bad at labeling this^^)_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones_

_Words: 852_

_Probably set at some point in (late) series 2. Inspired by Ianto's speech in the audio play "The Dead Line", more exactly this part: "This must be the longest I've ever looked at you and not seen you smile. I've watched you in your sleep. Did you know that? So many times... just woken up beside you in the middle of the night and watched you. Watched your eyes moving behind your eyelids as you dreamed. I wondered what a man like you could possibly dream about. The things you've seen. The lives you've lived. The people you've loved. I wondered if you were dreaming about me, I hoped that you were dreaming about me." (Yup, that's also the reason for the very creative title^^)_

...

Ianto opened his eyes and and looked around in confusion, slowly getting used to the dim light. Some noise had woken him up in the middle of the night.

_What's going on? Where am I?_

He had dreamed. About Lisa. It had been one of those dreams that were worse than the nightmares he'd had in the first months after her death - because in this one, they'd been happy... it was the time long before Torchwood Three, before the Battle of Canary Wharf, and they were so young, so alive and so careless... Ianto had woken up and still seen it all, and it took him a while until he realised that he wasn't in their flat in London but in the Torchwood Hub in Cardiff, and that the person beside him wasn't Lisa but Jack Harkness.

Ianto smiled and stroked the older man's chest, gently pressing a kiss on his neck before he withdrew from him, folding his arms behind his head and staring at the ceiling, sunken in the memories of his dream.

Sometimes, he still missed her. He knew that he always would. They'd never been the perfect couple - which couple was? -, they'd had their ups and downs, but it had been a bloody good time. And Ianto would always remember that.

Next to him, Jack shifted in his sleep and groaned.

Ianto glanced down at him and startled - the other man's face was distorted with pain, his chest raising and lowering heavily with every breath... Then he opened his mouth and screamed - all of a sudden Ianto recognized what had pulled him out of his sleep earlier - and clenched his hands to fists, moving as if to fight off an attack.

Quickly, Ianto was over him, pressing Jack's body down on the mattress, and kissing his forehead. "Shhhh", he whispered, pulling the man into his arms. "It's okay, it's okay..."

Jack was still asleep, moving and groaning and mumbling inaudible things, but slowly he started to calm down. Ianto caressed him and rocked him gently, holding him tightly against his bare chest. "Shhhhh..."

With a deep sigh, Jack finally relaxed completely in the welsh man's arms, and Ianto moved the both of them carefully until he was in a more comfortable position. He brushed his fingers over his lover's face and watched him.

"What are you dreaming about?", he whispered, pressing another kiss on Jack's forehead. "What do you see? What nightmares?"

This wasn't the first time that Ianto had seen the older man like this - he remembered the time shortly after Jack had returned from... well, wherever he'd been with the Doctor- Some nights, Jack would wake up screaming, covered in sweat, and not knowing where he was. It'd take all of Ianto's persuasion and lots of tight hugs and kisses then to bring him back to reality and to reassure him that he was safe.

_What happened to you, Jack?_ Ianto didn't wonder out of curiousity, in fact, he wasn't even sure if he _wanted _to know at all. He just wished that he could understand - that he could do something to help.

But Jack barely ever spoke about that time - or about his past and all the things he'd seen -, and Ianto accepted that. As he always did.

He knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep again tonight. Not after his dream, not after seeing Jack having nightmares. So, Ianto pulled the man even closer, gently caressing him, and completely happy with just watching over him. After a while, Jack's facial expression brightened and he smiled in his sleep, mumbling something inaudible.

"So, what are you dreaming about now?" _You've seen so much, haven't you? So much beauty. Distant planets... events far away in the future that you can only reach again by going the slow way... the Doctor... Which part of it do you see now? _For a second, Ianto dared to just think about it. _Or maybe... just... Torchwood. The Hub. The team, us, doing what we do. Weevils and Myfanwy and alien artifacts; Gwen and Tosh and Owen... and me._

Ianto let out a sigh. His mind drifted away to his life with Lisa, to his dream and everything that had been before he'd met Jack bloody Harkness - and, once again, he realised that he wouldn't want things to be any other way, not anymore. Right now, if someone would appear in front of him, offering him to go all the way back to the days of his dream... he wouldn't want it. _I'm right there where I belong._ Ianto smiled, glancing down at Jack.

"I love you", he whispered. Maybe this was the only way he'd ever be able to say it - when Jack couldn't hear it. Probably he would never hear it back, even _if _he'd say it out loud some day. But that was okay.

Beneath him, Jack shifted, unconsciously clinging onto Ianto's arm, and mumbling something in his sleep. For a heartbeat, Ianto thought that Jack said his name. And for him, this was enough.


	5. What am I without you?

**WHAT AM I WITHOUT YOU?**

_Romance, Fluff, a bit of Angst_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Rhys Williams_

_Words: 6582_

_Changed version of CoE + post!CoE. __Watching the final scene of Day 5 with Jack leaving, I thought about what would have happened if not Ianto but Gwen had died - he wouldn't just leave Ianto… would he? So this is what came out of the thought - not calling it a fix-it because Gwen had to die for this one...  
_

...

Ianto flinched and jumped up as his phone started ringing. He exchanged a quick look with Rhys who was sitting on the park bench next to him and who now asked nervously: "Who is it?"

Ianto shrugged his shoulders - the display showed an unknown number - and took a deep breath before he answered the call. "Who's there?"

"Ianto..."

The welsh man closed his eyes in relief as he recognized the voice. "Jack", he whispered with a smile. "Jack, I was worried... We didn't hear anything of you last night... I thought-" _Well, maybe not that you're dead. But who knows what they could have done to you..._ Ianto blinked to get the dark thoughts out of his head."So, um, we've heard it. We've heard what they said. That it's over, that the 456 are gone. Is it true?"

"Yes."

Ianto frowned. Jack's answer was so monotonous and flat... as if he didn't care. "Jack? Is everything alright? What happened?"

"Is Rhys with you?", Jack asked in the same defeated voice, completely ignoring Ianto. A cold shiver went down the welsh man's back. He shot a short squint at Rhys who, by now, was standing next to him, his eyes fixed on Ianto's lips, following every word he said. Ianto swallowed hard. "Yes, he is. Jack... tell me what happened. And what about Gwen? Is she with you?"

Next to him, Rhys shifted. "What is it? Ianto, tell me! Is Gwen alright? She is, isn't she?"

Ianto didn't answer. He waited. On the other end of the line there was silence. Then, finally, a whisper. "It was my fault. It's all my fault. I'm sorry."

Ianto's mind just went blank. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out.

"Ianto? Ianto, is Gwen there? Could you please tell Jack to bloody let me speak to her?!"

He turned his face to Rhys. His view blurred as he couldn't hold back the tears that were burning in his eyes.

Rhys shook his head. "What is it, huh? What? No, noooo, Gwen's alright, I know she is!", he shouted, reaching for the phone, but Ianto held on to it with a tight grip.

"Jack...", he breathed in a trembling voice. "Tell me she isn't- Please..."

"She is. Gwen is dead. I'm sorry." Jack sounded so calm - too calm - empty. Another short silence, then - "Goodbye, Ianto."

The young man jerked back and felt like his heart stopped beating for a moment. "Jack? Jack, what's going on? What are you doing? Where are you? _Where are you?_" He heard the Captain hanging up, and still he kept calling his name, shouting it and whispering it, angry and crying, until Rhys finally knocked the phone out of his hand and grabbed him by his shoulders. "Ianto! Tell me what's going on! Where's Gwen? What the fuck happened?"

Ianto stared at the phone that now lay abandoned in the grass. He tried to calm down and process, but in his mind he still could hear Jack's last words. With a blank face, he finally whispered: "Gwen's dead. And Jack's gone."

Then he suddenly found himself on the ground as Rhys' legs gave away and the man collapsed, pulling Ianto down with him.

OoO

Over the next few days, Ianto managed to slowly piece together what had happened. How Gwen, being all her brave and fierce and stubborn self, had followed Jack to Thames House. How she'd died there, poisoned by the 456, along with dozens of other people. How Jack had been imprisoned and then rescued by the very same people that had killed him just days ago. How they'd trusted him now to save the world, and how he'd done it... using his own grandson as transmitter for the signal to the 456 - killing Steven in the process.

Every new bit of information made Ianto cringe; more than ever he wished that he'd been by Jack's side, and he cursed himself that he hadn't been.

But somehow, he had just ended up with the laptop that held the records of the government's decision to give the children to the 456, waiting for a signal to release the information to the public - or to do anything at all. No signal had come.

Then the next day had dawned and brought chaos down to earth. Ianto had found himself alone and lost, having no idea what had happened to Jack, or to Gwen and Rhys. The politicians and the media had spoken of a "return to normality", but as soon as he had heard of the innoculations, Ianto had known that the children were in danger.

He'd phoned Rhi and told her to keep Mica and David at home and to spread the word, and then, finally, he'd found Rhys. Rhys had been lost even more than Ianto. He'd told him that Gwen was gone. There'd been a fight between her and Jack as she'd tried to convince the Captain that she should go with him to Thames House, and after he'd gone off alone, she'd just left as well.

That had been all that the two of them had known by then. Ianto had been thinking about finally releasing the records to the public - he didn't know what else to do - when they'd watched how the 456... just disappeared.

Ianto had seen the yellow flash of light rising up into the sky - he hadn't been sure what to make of it at first, but then, as if his brain finally had started working properly again, he'd managed to use the laptop to get himself into the government's communication systems.

_"They're gone. The 456 are gone"_ \- that's what they'd heard them say.

And then, Jack had called.

OoO

It took him a while to process everything, but eventually Ianto woke up one morning and realised that his life had been shattered into pieces. He had nothing left.

Torchwood had been all he'd had. After Canary Wharf, he'd had to take care of Lisa. She'd been his priority, his responsibilty, his first thought every morning, and it had been just when she was dead that Ianto had understood how much Torchwood Three had become part of his life, for better or worse. He'd realised that it hadn't been all about keeping Lisa safe - no, he loved his work and cared for the team... and their leader. The Hub had become his home, and the people there - Tosh and Gwen and Owen, and most of all Jack - had become his family.

_Look at me now. No Hub. No Team. No Jack._

Everything Ianto had been for the past three years was gone, just like that.

At first, he got along - mechanically reorganising his life, no time yet to lose his mind. Suddenly, he was glad that he'd never given up his flat, even though he'd barely used it lately, spending the nights with Jack in the Hub (and the work-filled days anyway, especially after Owen's and Tosh's deaths). Even better was that he still had most of his furniture there, as well as some spare clothes. Though money wasn't a problem either; in the process of cleaning up the chaos that the events involving the 456 had caused, Torchwood's name got cleared and Ianto got his full rights back from the official side, including the access to his bank account. And the Torchwood paychecks were good.

But then he started drifting. He knew that this was the worst thing he could do, being a man who needed to work just like he needed to breathe, but he couldn't help it. The days passed by and Ianto just sat there, thinking: _It would be rubbish to look for a job. Jack will be back soon, and then we need to rebuild Torchwood. Pointless to look for a job now. He's coming back._ And, of course - which job could possibly compare with his work at Torchwood?

The only change to the positive was his relationship with his sister and her family. Ianto visited them quite often by now, whenever the loneliness of his flat got too much. He talked with Rhi more than they ever had as children. To Ianto's surprise, he and Johnny got along pretty well, too. All it had taken was a bit of time to really get to know each other. And his relationship with Mica and David finally evolved from the money giving stranger to the uncle who told them all those silly stories about aliens.

But every time Ianto came home to his flat, the loneliness returned as well and made him more and more desperate. He missed the noises and smells and the overwhelming beauty of the Hub. And when he lay in bed, freezing under his blanket, he missed Jack most of all.

Ianto drifted for almost three months.

OoO

Ianto was grateful as his phone started ringing in the middle of the night, saving him from the darkness of his latest nightmare. For a few moments, he just lay there panting, staring at the ceiling, and almost forgetting that the phone was still ringing. He reached out to the nightstand and picked up his mobile with clumsy fingers, squinting as the bright light of the screen blinded him. _Unknown number_. Ianto sighed and cleared his throat, prepared to tell the caller that they dialed the wrong number - who would call him, in the middle of the night, besides the few people whose numbers were in the phone anyway?

"Ianto Jones, who's there?"

"Ianto... it's good to hear your voice..." The answer was just a whisper but the welsh man sat up straight in bed, recognizing the voice by the first syllable of his name.

"Jack! Is it - really you?"

"Yes. Yes, Ianto, it's me."

Ianto suddenly felt hot and cold at the same time, he shivered and panted while he tried to get himself together, to think of words to say - but where should he start? He must have been babbling nonsense, all of his thoughts shuffled together, because eventually the man on the other end of the line started shushing him. "Ianto - Ianto, shhh, please, listen - it's alright - calm down... please, can you try to do that for me?"

Fixing on Jack's voice as an anchor, the welsh man took a deep breath and closed his eyes. _I'm not dreaming, am I? _He desperately tried to relax and sort his mind... but, well, where _should_ he begin?! It had been three months - three months without any word from Jack... and now...

"Where are you?", he finally asked in a hoarse voice.

Silence. Once again, Ianto was about to panic, afraid that Jack might hang up, just as he had done the last time when Ianto had asked him exactly the same question.

But then, an answer, so short and direct that it made the welsh man laugh. "Rome."

"Huh - Rome?!"

"Yeah. I... I've been traveling during the past months. All sorts of places. Just... going. I had to- needed to get away... I... I should have called, should have told you, I guess."

_Oh, that's right, you fucking should have, you bastard!_ Ianto felt a wave of anger rising up inside of him, but it wasn't strong enough to get out - not the slightest match for all those other emotions, relief and confusion and hope and fear, that were so much more present right now.

"So..." Ianto hesitated before asking in a dry voice: "Are you coming back now?"

Another silence. Ianto held his breath.

"I don't know."

"Then why are you calling me now, Jack, after three fucking months?!", Ianto exclaimed. Tears burned behind his eyes, and all of a sudden he was glad that Jack didn't see him right now.

He heard the Captain's voice break. "Because... I couldn't stand it any longer!"

And that was it - those few words, spoken in a tremulous voice, were enough to calm Ianto. He could feel the other man's pain and yearning reflected in his own; he knew that Jack needed him as badly as the welsh man needed the Captain, and all he wanted to do now was to take care of the older man.

"Jack", Ianto began in a smooth and steady voice. "I see why you can't come back yet. Cardiff - too many memories, right? I understand that. But that doesn't mean that I couldn't come to you, does it? I can take the first flight in the morning." He paused for a moment. "Just tell me, will you be there when I come to Rome?"

Jack didn't answer immediately. Ianto could hear him breathing and moving on the other end of the line.

"Well, I... um. Oh - ah, how's... how's Rhys doing?"

The welsh man closed his eyes. Jack's evasion didn't surprise him. "We don't have contact that often", he explained, his voice still calm. "He's okay, I think - considering that he lost his wife and his unborn baby." He regretted the words as soon as they had left his mouth. On the other end, he heard Jack sob. "I- I- I didn't want it to sound like- Jack?"

"All my fault, all my fault...", Jack whispered, over and over again.

"Please! It's not, you know that it's not, stop it!" Ianto wished that he could be with him now, wished that he could do more than just speak meaningless words into the mobile phone. "Jack! Please!" As he raised his voice, the other man finally stopped. "It's okay, Jack", he continued soothingly. "It's all fine. Talk to me now, okay? I asked you a question. Answer it. I want to take care of you properly - hey, um, don't you miss my coffee? Not a cup in three months, how do you manage to get through the day?"

It worked. Ianto heard Jack chuckle, and a smile hushed over his face by the sound of it. Hearing Jack laugh had been one of the things he'd missed the most.

Then the Captain answered his question. "Yes. I'll be there."

Ianto's smile widened with relief and excitement. "Very well, sir", he replied in a jaunty voice. "I- I think I've got quite a few things to get organised. I'll call you back as soon as everything's sorted, what do you say?"

"Yeah. Sounds good."

"Okay... um... well..." Ianto still held the phone pressed to his ear. He didn't want to hang up, a part of him still being afraid that he might just be dreaming, or that Jack wouldn't answer when he called him later, that this was the last time he spoke with Captain Jack Harkness.

Clearing his throat, Ianto put himself together. _Don't be ridiculous._ "Yeah... um... I should probably hang up now-", he muttered.

"Yeah. Don't worry. I won't go anywhere", Jack assured him - probably it wasn't too hard to guess what was on Ianto's mind. "Oh, and Ianto?", he added softly, and the welsh man gripped the phone even tighter.

"Jack?"

"I missed you."

The connection broke before Ianto could respond. For a minute, he just sat there on his bed, staring at the mobile in his hand. Suddenly, it all seemed so surreal that he had to check if he'd actually just received this phone call, or if he'd gone mad already. His heart made a leap as he saw the unknown number that he now simply saved as _Jack_.

Then, with a bright grin on his face, he got up. Work to do.

OoO

Ianto put down his suitcase and sat on the bed. The hotel room was simple, but comfy, and the hotel was near the Piazza Navona, where he would meet Jack later on.

Ianto hadn't wasted any time after Jack's call. In a hurry, he'd packed and organized the flight. He hadn't taken much with him, just the basic toiletry and two of the few suits he still owned - after Jack's disappearance, Ianto had barely worn any (and all of his favourites he'd lost anyway when the Hub had been destroyed).

Later, on his way to the airport, he'd called Jack. The other man had answered the phone almost immediately, and Ianto couldn't help smiling as once again he'd heard the voice that he'd missed so much for three months. Of course, he'd suggested that Jack should meet him right at the airport; but the Captain had hesitated and awkwardly started to try and give reasons why he was against the idea. Ianto's heart had sunken a little as he'd realised that Jack was stalling - nevertheless, he'd interupted the man's futile argumentation, and said, his voice as jaunty as possible: "Okay, time for me to get some rest after the flight, good point. I'll probably need some sleep, barely had any tonight. And I've never been to Rome yet, so I can take in some impressions on my own. And then... well, what do you think of... late afternoon, maybe five o'clock, some big, public place that I won't have any trouble finding? A piazza?"

Jack had agreed without any objection, sugesting the Piazza Navona to meet, and obviously being relieved that Ianto had taken care of things once again, no word lost about Jack's stalling.

And now the welsh man sat here, in his hotel room. It was just about 2pm, but of course he couldn't rest - or even sleep - now. So he showered, changed into fresh clothes - black suit, light blue shirt, striped tie - and left the hotel. Mindlessly, he wandered through the city. He'd never really been out of the UK, except for Torchwood missions - never enough time then for any sightseeing. Maybe he could actually try and enjoy this a little... but of course, in the end Jack was all he could think about. Every few minutes, Ianto checked his watch, nervous and impatient. He didn't know what to expect from his reunion with Jack. Knowing the other man, anything could happen.

Time passed slowly, and after a while, Ianto returned to the hotel. He found some english tourist magazine in the lobby and started reading, only to realize soon that he was reading the same sentence over and over again. He went up to his room, spending the time walking up and down while trying to force his restless body and mind to calm down.

When 4pm passed, Ianto stood in front of the mirror and checked his appearance. He realized that he looked exhausted and a bit muddled, so he splashed some cold water on his face and put on a smile, trying to be optimistic.

Then he left again. It was only a five minute walk to the Piazza, meaning that Ianto had still far too much time left. He slowly wandered around, trying to focus on the sights and the architecture, but he only caught himself looking out for Jack. Finally, Ianto gave up and sank down on a bench, folding and squeezing his hands, his heart pounding faster with every passing minute.

Five o'clock came and passed, and the longer Ianto waited, the more certain he became that Jack wouldn't turn up. _Who knows where he is now? Probably not even in Italy anymore._

He was close to giving up, already rising from the bench, as he heard someone approaching behind him. With a deep breath, he turned around... and watched Jack getting closer, until they stood only a few feet apart, facing each other.

They didn't speak immediately but observed one another thoroughly. The first thing Ianto noticed was that Jack wasn't wearing his coat, only the usual combination of a dark blue shirt, black trousers and suspenders.

"You look bad", he commented as he further inspected the Captain's appearance. He couldn't really describe it - Jack seemed paler and thinner than the last time Ianto'd seen him, but it wasn't like he'd let himself go, nothing that anyone else would notice - but Ianto did, and he also recognized that particular indescribable look of Jack's, the one he knew far better than he wished to. "You died today."

Jack stared to the ground, only confirming his dry statement. Ianto desperately wanted to hug the other man, wanted to hold him and tell him that it was okay. But it wouldn't be right just now. "You died a lot during the past three months, didn't you?", he continued, sadness filling his voice. He could see it all right there. Jack glanced up to him. He looked miserable. He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again and simply nodded.

Ianto sighed heavily. "Didn't do you any good, did it? Doesn't help... I've _sort of _been there as well, you know - didn't do _me_ any good, for sure."

Jack's eyes widened with surprise at Ianto's words, and the welsh man shrugged his shoulders, thinking of all the times he'd held the gun in his trembling hands, or had stood on top of one of the buldings Jack used to stand on, so tempted to jump. "I lost her too, you know?" _And I lost _you_._ He remembered the first weeks after Jack's disappearance, when he'd seen him everywhere, always - a familiar face in a crowd, a glimpse of the greycoat round the corner, a figure in the corner of his eye - so long until he'd finally resigned, accepting that it wasn't Jack, and that it never would be him.

Jack looked down again. "I'm sorry, Ianto", he whispered in a hoarse voice, and Ianto couldn't stand it any longer to see him like this. He closed the distance between them and took Jack's hand. "Don't", he breathed, gently squeezing it. Ianto closed his eyes. He wanted away, wanted to be alone with Jack. "Let's go."

OoO

They didn't speak while they walked, but Ianto kept holding Jack's hand all the way as he lead him with a swift pace back to the hotel and to his room. He closed the door behind them, and just then he hesitantly let go of the other man.

The air in the room was filled with tension as they stared at each other. It lasted approximately twenty seconds - then Jack rushed forward, shoving Ianto against the wall and pressing their lips together. His kiss was aggressive and demanding, and Ianto didn't protest; he responded by opening his mouth to let Jack's tongue in and threw his arms around the man, holding him as tightly as possible.

Finally, they had to pause for breath, still clinging on to each other. _Well_, Ianto thought soberly, _I guess the Big Talk has to wait_. He rested his forehead against Jack's and simply whispered: "I thought I'd never feel this again." In response, Jack leaned in for another passionate kiss, and they barely let go of each other as they hastily stripped off their clothes. Ianto heard the sound of several buttons of his shirt popping off, but he couldn't care less. He put his hands on Jack's hips and spun the pair of them around, so that now the Captain was pinned to the wall. He ran his hands over Jack's bare body, the body that he'd missed so much, longing to touch every single bit of it, and he felt the other man's hands on himself as Jack tried to do the same with him.

They were both painfully hard, and without further ceremony, Ianto gripped Jack again and threw him down on the bed.

OoO

Several minutes later found the pair of them lying next to each other, both panting and drenched in sweat. Jack shifted, propping his head up on his hand, and glanced down at Ianto. His index finger gently trailed over the other man's chest, making Ianto shiver. "You are beautiful", the Captain whispered with a smile. "You are so beautiful, Ianto Jones. And I have missed you so much."

Ianto let Jack continue for a while, his eyes closed in pleasure at the gentle touch. Then he sat up and leaned against the headbord. Jack hesitated for a moment before he moved to do the same. They sat side by side, their faces turned towards each other. Ianto frowned and bit his lip before he started talking. "You know... I really thought that... that I'd lost you this time. That you'd left for good. I... I wasn't even sure if your were on earth anymore."

Jack sighed and glanced away. "I'm sorry. I really am, Ianto." He placed one hand on Ianto's thigh, longing to lean in and to rest his head against the younger man's chest, but he resisted the feeling. Instead, he raised his gaze to look at Ianto. "But it would be a lie to say that I didn't think about it. I _wanted _to leave and never come back, that was the plan when I called you after... it all was over."

Ianto cleared his throat and nodded slowly. Nothing that he hadn't expected. He put his hand on top of Jack's, entwining their fingers. "And...", he started nervously. "What made you change your mind?"

Jack smiled. "Do I really need to tell you?", he asked almost in the familiar cheeky tone.

But Ianto couldn't just do it like this. He wasn't stupid nor blind, and yet he needed reassurance - for once, he needed to hear it. He squeezed Jack's hand and answered: "Yes!"

Jack frowned and gave him a bemused look. Then he leaned in close and gently kissed the welsh man's cheek. "You", he whispered under his breath, his lips brushing over Ianto's skin.

Ianto felt a wave of emotions running through his body... all of his fears seemed to be taken away. He turned his head and pressed his lips on Jack's, and they lost each other in a tender kiss that was filled with nothing but love.

When he pulled away, Jack beamed at him, a bright sparkle in his eyes. Affectionately, he ran his hand through Ianto's ruffled hair. The welsh man leaned his head against Jack's shoulder and caressed the Captain's bare chest. "Tell me about the three months. Where have you been? What have you done? And... how _did _you finally decide to come back- or, well, to call me?"

Jack closed his eyes and thought about the time after Gwen's and Steven's deaths. It took him a minute to sort his mind, but then he put his arm around Ianto and started speaking.

He began with the day of Steven's death - how he'd picked up the phone to call Ianto... he had meant to say so many things - he'd wanted to explain why he needed to leave, and that Ianto had to forget him and move on - but none of the words had left his mouth. He'd dropped the phone and then he'd run away.

He had drifted, just like Ianto, but for him that meant that he'd started to travel - to the big cities of Europe, then America, Asia, Africa, never staying for long in one place.

Shame filled Jack's voice as he told Ianto about his deaths - how he'd killed himself, over and over again, new place, new death - a hopeless cry that never took the pain away, and yet an addiction, a temptation that he couldn't resist.

But Ianto didn't judge him, he didn't even say a word. Instead, he covered Jack's shoulder with kisses and tenderly stroked his neck, and the Captain felt more alive than he had in a long time. For a few moments, he indulged in Ianto's caresses, his eyes closed and the world far away. Then he continued.

Jack had spent almost 150 years working for Torchwood Three, and all of a sudden it all had gone. Of course, there still was the Rift - meaning, still work to do - but Jack hadn't been able to carry on like this. The Hub had been destroyed, and no team was left - no one except Ianto. Oh, Ianto... Jack had missed the man, every single moment, but how could he return to him after everything that had happened? Jack's heart had broken so many times during his immortal life, and losing Gwen and Steven to the 456... he'd realised how easy - and inevitable - it was to lose Ianto as well.

But going away hadn't helped. He'd missed Ianto's presence; his sensitive, caring nature and his deadpan sass comments - even worse were the nights, without Ianto's strong arms wrapped around him, without his head lying on Jack's chest.

Not even actually realising where this was going, Jack had slowly been coming back, returned to Europe - and finally, he'd understood. He'd thought of Ianto, and every cell in his body had hurt so bad that he'd known he couldn't stand it any longer.

And so, Jack had phoned the welsh man - hearing his voice, for the first time in three months, had finally taken the pain away, and he had wished for nothing more than to hold Ianto in his arms again.

But the excitement had passed and made way for Jack's fears once more - it had been enough to make him shoot himself right after Ianto'd called him back, and almost enough to make him run away again. He couldn't possibly bear to stay, could he, with all that fear of losing Ianto... "But then, how could I bear to leave you again like this?"

Jack stopped, exhaling deeply. Sheepishly, he raised his glance towards Ianto. The young man returned the look, compassion and understanding gleaming in his eyes.

Ianto had listened quietly the whole time and had not once interupted Jack. Now, he took his time to process everything that he'd heard.

Eventually, he cleared his throat and whispered: "Thank you. This... it explains many things."

Jack pulled the welsh man in a tight embrace and held onto him for a long time. Slowly, his swirling mind came to rest, and the relief of having it all got out made his heart lighter.

He shifted to face Ianto once again. "Now it's your turn", he said, an encouraging smile on his lips.

And Ianto spoke with the same frankness as Jack had, equally relieved to be able to talk about his struggles and fears, and about how he'd forced himself to keep going, the stubborn faith that Jack would return always in the back of his mind.

After he'd finished, they gazed at each other for a long time. They both had dropped their guards, and they both understood. Jack leaned forward and kissed Ianto softly. "I couldn't do it", he breathed against the other man's mouth. "I couldn't leave you after all. But I shouldn't have gone just like that in the first place. It was selfish."

"It may have been many things, but not that", Ianto muttered. He lifted his hand to stroke the Captain's cheek. "I know why you needed to go. And it's okay. Can you... can you just promise me something?"

Jack pulled away to look into Ianto's eyes. "What is it?"

Ianto swallowed and cleared his throat. His voice was trembling as he spoke. "Can- can you promise me that you won't leave me again?"

Jack closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again to look at Ianto, there was a sad smile on his lips. His voice was but a whisper. "I'm sorry. I can't."

Ianto felt his cheeks blushing and quickly turned away. "No - _I'm_ sorry... I shouldn't have... can we just forget...", he started mumbling in a croaky voice.

"No, Ianto - Ianto, it's okay! Ianto!" Jack took the welsh man's face into his hands and made Ianto look at him. "Please! You... you have to understand... I'm still so afraid of losing you! I know that the day will come when you- How could I... I can't promise you that I'll be there... seeing... seeing Gwen die - sacrificing Steven... oh, it broke my heart... what will it do to me if I have to watch you-? I'm not sure if I can do it, please, don't you understand?"

Ianto nodded hesitantly, a wet shimmer in his eyes. "I understand", he whispered, caressing Jack's cheek. "I understand." And he did. He imagined all the pain that Jack had to feel every time when he lost someone. For Jack, there could never be a happy ending, a we-will-grow-old-together... the hope of a reunion in death.

The Captain smiled weakly and leaned his forehead against Ianto's. "But I can promise you one thing - I'll never lie to you, and never make false promises. I'll keep my word, and when I say to you now that I will stay with you for as long as I can, then I mean it. Ianto Jones... my Ianto... is this enough for you?"

Ianto smiled. His heart felt heavy and light at the same time. He nodded. "It is. Of course it is, Jack-" He hesitated. The _"I love you"_ was already on his lips, but then he stopped and just kissed Jack again.

Of course, it was true. Of course, Ianto loved Jack - and of course, Jack loved Ianto. But Ianto knew that the older man feared this phrase - for the two of them, who had never said it to each other, it was too meaningful. Ianto knew, if he spoke those words now, then Jack would return them, and if anything, then that was what could actually bind the Captain to him, make him stay and _not _leave Ianto even if he wanted to. But Ianto would never oblige Jack like this. _There are no happy endings for Jack_.

And so, the welsh man decided to keep quiet.

OoO

"So, what do we do now?", Jack asked, his head on Ianto's chest and looking up to the man with a grin.

Through the gap between the closed curtains, the bright light of a sunny morning shone into the hotel room. They had spent the night holding onto each other, sweetly making love and finally dozing off in each other's arms.

Ianto raised an eyebrow at Jack's question. "What do you mean?"

"In general. How do we go on from here?"

The welsh man shrugged his shoulders. "I- I don't know. I always assumed that you, if you'd return, would want to rebuild Torchwood."

Jack pondered for a moment and squinted at Ianto. "So that's what you want?"

"Well, someone's gotta take care of the Rift. The Hub may have been destroyed, but not the Rift, right?"

Jack shook his head. "No, but we still have a choice. I mean, there's always UNIT. As far as I know, they're in charge there now already, and you know UNIT - once they've gotten something into their fingers..."  
"So you _don't _want to rebuild Torchwood?", Ianto cut him short, and Jack frowned.  
"Wasn't my first thought, no." He snuggled up closer to the welsh man. "Y'know, I've spent a long time with Torchwood. It wasn't all good, but I loved it, most of it, at least. The thing is, I had the chance to meet many good people... only to lose them eventually. One team after another, gone. And I think, maybe it's been too many. Maybe it _is _time to move on from this life."

Beneath him, Ianto stiffened a little. Jack tilted his head and looked at him. Was there a hint of fear in the younger man's eyes? The Captain smiled and moved up to kiss him. "But not without you, idiot!"

Ianto relaxed again, so quickly that Jack thought he'd just imagined the brief moment of unease. "No, 'course not. You need me, after all, don't you - bet you can't do another day without my coffee", the younger man teased. Now, a curious smile played around his lips as he continued: "So, Jack, if not Torchwood - what do you have in mind?"

Jack bit his lip. "Well...", he started hesitantly, mindlessly brushing his index finger over Ianto's chest. "Y'know, when I first thought I could do it - actually leave, I mean - I had this nice little plan. Earth has become a bit small, don't you think?"

Ianto's eyes widened. "Y-you mean? But... how?"

Jack grinned. "Vortex Manipulator. Last thing I did before I left - I got it out of the ruins of the Hub. I knew that I'd find it undamaged - it's been through worse."  
"Where is it now?", Ianto asked curiously, as Jack hadn't worn the device when they had met.

"Left it with my coat and my other stuff. I... I didn't want to bring it all along... Would have been much easier then to just run off last second..."

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "Yeah... whatever", he cut the Captain short, making clear that he didn't need an explanation. They'd had this discussion, after all. "So, question still stands - how? Vortex Manipulator, okay. Never knew though that it could get you into space just like that."

"Yeah, it's not that easy", Jack said, shrugging his shoulders. "Not _anymore_, that is. Anyway, what I can do is send a signal into space, and you know, right place, right time, right aliens... basically, we could get a lift. And I've done the calculations for a while now... about three months from now, there should be a suitable ship, just at the edge of this solar system, that could pick us up! That means, of course, that we've still got some time, so no need to rush any decisions - but what do you say? I could show you the stars, Ianto Jones."

The sparkle in Ianto's eyes had become brighter and brighter with every word Jack had said, and as the Captain had finished, he beamed at the man with a wide smile. "So... you and me in space, huh? Never dreamt of that!"

"I take that as a 'yes', Mr. Jones?", Jack asked playfully, moving up and bringing his face close to Ianto's.

"Oh yeah, Sir. _Yes_", the younger man whispered and leaned in for a kiss.

"Hmmm", Jack pondered, returning the kiss and sliding his tongue over Ianto's soft lips. "Three months time in between... we could travel this planet together... with Torchwood, you saved the Earth so many times, Ianto. It's about time you actually get to see some of it."

"Yeah, would love that, too", Ianto muttered tenderly; then he suddenly pulled back to look at Jack. There was a light frown on his face as he locked his eyes with the Captain's. "But, actually, it doesn't matter where I am, as long as I am with you."

Jack didn't answer. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Ianto and held him tight. He felt the younger man returning the embrace, and burried his head in the crook of Ianto's neck. They stayed like this for a long time before Ianto carefully pulled away, entwining his fingers with Jack's. "Time to see the world", he whispered, leaning his forehead against the Captain's. "Never been to Rome before. Seems like a good place to begin with. And you probably know all the secret spots no tourists ever find, don't you?"

Jack chuckled, and Ianto joined in before he pressed a gentle kiss on the older man's forehead. "Let's start here."


	6. Ghosts in the Dark

**GHOSTS IN THE DARK**

_Hurt/Comfort_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, Rhys Williams, Clement McDonald_

_Words: 800_

_Inspired by the scene in Day Four of CoE where Clem kills Jack. It starts with Clem shooting._

_..._

Well, it didn't come unexpected. And at least it was quick. It was far from being the worst death that Jack had died. More like the opposite, a relief. To look into the man's eyes - a boy's eyes - and feeling all the guilt coming back... actually, that was worse than the physical pain.

He'd lived for centuries but it never got easier. Not really.

And yet, as the sound of the gunshot filled the air and the bullet hit his chest, Jack wanted to scream, even though he knew that he'd be alright, that nothing was terminal for him. He'd still die, though. And the pain was right there.

He hit the ground hard and already he felt his life fading. He was so familiar with this feeling by now, that he just wanted to hurry it up - he wanted the pain to be over.

He heard Gwen saying something but he was too far gone already to understand what it was. His sight was blurring, all he could make out anymore was the grey ceiling of the hall. The last thing he noticed was how Ianto pulled his body into his arms... and it was over.

The darkness followed, as usual. Funny, how he died over and over again and never really remembered it, just like a strange nightmare that wakes you up in the middle of the night but then you wouldn't be able to retell what happened in it.

He'd wished to die quickly in order to end the pain. How was it possible that he always forgot that the darkness was so much worse?

Things were out there. Creeping. Memory flashes, but not the good ones. Ghosts. The first years it'd been few, but now there were many - so many ghosts.

All the people he'd lost, all the people he'd killed, all the people he'd let down. It was driving him mad.

Now, in the darkness of death, Jack screamed. Here he was without his coat, without his team, without the magic of the Time Agent from the 51st century. Instead, he was at his lowest.

It felt like it lasted for months. And so quickly he forgot that he actually would come back, yes, he was there and felt trapped forever with the ghosts of his past.

And so much darkness, and so many creeping monsters, growling and snapping for him.

His screams were unheard and unanswered here. "DOCTOR!" Naked and cold he lay in the dark, thinking of this mysterious man with his blue box and their adventures together. It didn't keep the fear away.

"Ianto..." The name he only whispered, covered in tears, trembling and trying not to lose his mind. "Ianto Jones..."

And still the pain and the night got to him.

Then it ended, sudden and fast like a bucket of ice cold water dumped into his face.

Jack woke up up with a gasp, as if he'd been holding his breath. He winced, his chest hurting where the bullet had hit him, blank of any sort of orientation - except for one. There was an arm there that he could cling to, and a lap where he could rest his head, being safely hold by the one person he would love and trust forever.

Ianto Jones was there.

The same moment that his heart started beating again, Jack knew that Ianto was the one holding him. Life returned, the memories of death faded like they always did.

It took him a while to get back in. It always did, and it always hurt - after all, he'd been mortally wounded. He didn't let go of Ianto, and Ianto took care of him, as usual.

Gwen talking - Clem running away - Gwen following him - Rhys hesitating, looking at Jack for a moment, then following her - Jack sighed deeply, slowly relaxing in Iantos arms.

"Hey", the younger man murmured in a soft voice. "You're alright?"

Jack turned his head to look at Ianto. For one moment he was on the brink of giving in - as he was so often - but then he put on a smile. Ianto didn't smile back, his eyes were worried and heavy and sad.

"Yeah. Yes, I am", Jack answered, lying the big ol' lie. His brain started working again, his thoughts circled around the 456 and Clem and the children. Work to do. So much work.

But right now, with no one watching, he stayed where he was for another moment, safe and sound in Iantos arms. He wanted to say something but he didn't... he never did.

_Thank you._

_No, I'm not alright._

_Just hold me._

_I love you._

_. . ._

If he'd just had known - too late.

There is a new ghost in the darkness now.


	7. Goodbye, Ianto

**GOODBYE, IANTO**

_Romance, Drama_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones_

_Words: 1295_

_Don't want to say much in advance for this one, but knowing "The House of the Dead" is important._

...

Well, there weren't that many choices, were there? Oh, maybe there were - and just too many he _couldn't_ choose.

He wondered what would happen if he just left. He didn't know _what_ he was anymore - a ghost, or more than that, or plain human and alive again? But he couldn't just try and go for it, could he? There was the world at stake.

He tried to focus. Two things. Two things he had to take care of.

_Saving the world. Saving Jack._

Ianto felt a shiver running through his body. There was one choice left. He listened to Jack, a part of him dying inside as he realised that the decision was made.

"... I've seen you once more - what else is there?"

He didn't want to do this. He didn't want it to end like this, with a lie. He didn't want it to end.

"Well... we could just go." Ianto focused on his goal. _Get him out of here. Save him._

"What?"

"My dad said we could both leave together." It got easier, and he smiled an encouraging smile.

Jack laughed. Ianto saw a hint of hope in his eyes, and he felt his heart break a little more. "Never... you're kidding, right?" Jack narrowed his eyes. "You mean leave here?"

"Why not try it? The Rift - ancient evil - magic pebbles - just for once, let someone else deal with it!", Ianto pushed further, curious for Jack's reaction.

"Can we do that?"

_He - he's really considering it? He'd let Seriath go? What about the 'threat for the earth' and all that stuff?_

"I'm real, aren't I?"

"Huh - it will never work... we cross that door, we will be back in the real world... what if you vanish? What will happen?"

Ianto blinked. _He really would do it._ He still had no memory of his death six months ago, and Jack hadn't exactly gone into detail, but - _What has it done to you? Oh Jack..._ What he saw here, was the man he loved, more desperate than he'd ever seen him before, willing to let Seriath go for Ianto's sake.

"That's no reason for not trying", Ianto carried on. He hoped that Jack didn't see how close to crying he was. _And here I am, doing it again... I'm hurting you again... _"Seems a shame, you know - to get me back only to lose me again-" _I'm sorry, Jack. I'm so sorry. _"- a touch careless."

"Huh, true... Seriath - the last remnant of a dead universe - ah, she's not so special, but there's only one Ianto Jones."

"And there's only ever been one Captain Jack Harkness." Pride filled Ianto's heart as he looked at the Captain, _his_ Captain, in his coat and with his Harkness grin on, now stretching out one hand to stroke Ianto's arm affectionately. "Ah, screw it! Worth a try! Let's leave the device here for Seriath..." Jack shot a glance at the box that Ianto was still holding in his hand, and the welsh man let it drop to the ground.

The Rift was wide open by now and started soaking in the House of the Dead, making the ground shake beneath them.

"The whole place is falling into the Rift!", Ianto shouted, clinging onto Jack as they both tried to stay on their feet.

"Ha! We better go now!"

Hesitantly, Ianto let go of Jack and stood back. "Cross that doorway and there's no coming back", he repeated the Captain's words. He felt sick.

"Why would I want to?", Jack asked jauntily, too happy, too hopeful to notice Ianto's uneasiness. "I've got you back, Ianto - let's do this! Come on, Ianto, be brave!"

"Always..."

Jack grinned and started moving towards the door. There was a bright light that led to the outside - back to the real world, and Ianto slowly followed the Captain to the edge of it before he stopped. He watched Jack stepping through the light and out of the House of the Dead, turning around and looking for him.

"I'm not coming", he finally said. He almost had to shout to drown out the noise of the Rift that was pulling strongly on the House - and on him.

"Ianto, no - come on, there's still time!"

Finally, Ianto could cry. Over the distance and through the bright light, Jack maybe wouldn't see the tears. "No, Jack - you know I can't. My place is here: in the House of the Dead-" _Am I real or still a ghost? I shouldn't leave this place anyway. It's for the better. Maybe I really _would_ vanish outside._ "-with your device, saving the world!" _And you. Most of all, you!_

_'Eternal Oblivion'_, Jack had said. That had been the moment when Ianto'd known that he had to get him out of there. He couldn't let Jack do this to himself.

"Don't do this!"

"Sorry, Jack - someone's gotta destroy the Rift..." _Whatever would happen to you in the void between worlds - you'd be alive. You'd suffer. The time would come and you would curse me, hate me because I'd be the reason for you being there... then you'd forget who I was, and who you were, and it still would go on, it'd be forever..._ "Quite a way to go...", Ianto quoted Jack in a dry voice.

"No! Not like this! Don't leave me like this!"

Ianto was shaking. He was filled with fear, and Jack's calls broke his heart. He was grateful that the Rift was pulling on him with such a force now that even if he'd tried, it would have been hard to leave the House of the Dead. "Gotta go...", he called, heavily breathing, and picked up Jack's device from the ground.

"Ianto, no! I never said it properly before..."

Tears were streaming down Ianto's face. "Doesn't need saying...", he muttered, and he meant it. Countless memories of Jack and him flashed before his eyes - gestures and words and kisses and so many little things - Jack _had_ said it so many times, in his own way...

"Yes, it does! Ianto Jones-" Ianto looked up, facing the Captain one more time. "-I love you."

Like a blanket on a cold winter day, the words covered Ianto up, made him feel all safe and sound, and he smiled again. "And I love you, too, Jack", he responded in a calm voice, looking at the man and memorizing the picture of him standing there to the last detail.

He took a deep breath and gripped Jack's box tightly. "Right, then - let's get a move on!", he said. _I'm going to die in a few seconds._ "Goodbye, Jack!" _Don't think about it. Go on. Do it._

Ianto closed his eyes, Jack being the last thing he saw, and triggered the device.

..

Once again, his life flashed in front of his eyes. Now, he saw more - bits of his childhood - Torchwood One... Lisa.

And even though his time with Torchwood Three had lasted no longer than about three years, those memories took up the longest part - he saw Suzie, and Owen, and Tosh, and Gwen... and most of all Jack. Once more, he felt the older man's lips on his, firm hands on his shoulders, strong arms wrapped around him.

Now, he also saw his death - his first death - and he remembered the 456 and Thames House and his last moments in Jack's arms.

..

Pain filled what was left of Ianto's conciousness as he was ripped apart and fell through the Rift to be scattered all over the universe.

It lasted only for a very short moment, not even long enough for him to scream, and then-

* * *

*ADDITIONAL DISCLAIMER* I obviously don't own the dialogue of this one, it is from the ending of the radio play "The House of the Dead".


	8. Let this be the light of a new day

**LET THIS BE THE LIGHT OF A NEW DAY**

_Romance, Hurt/Comfort(sort of)_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper_

_Words: 2876_

_"After what happened with Jasmine, nobody is talking to me (except Ianto). They'll come around. Everyone comes around." Coda to Jack's entry in the Captain's Log about "Small Worlds". Set after the episode.  
_

...

Ianto watched the team's return to the Hub via CCTV. He saw how Gwen, Tosh and Owen moved swiftly past Jack, completely ignoring the man who gestured around and spoke to them.

The welsh man raised an eyebrow - _'Something's up.'_ \- and went over to the Hub's kitchen, putting on the coffee machine. _Looks like they're gonna need some coffee._

Rather unsettled, he then waited for the cog wheel to open and the team to come in. He still felt strange around them; it'd been only days since Jack had let him return to work after one month of suspension. No one had mentioned anything since, and Ianto sensed that they all wanted to avoid the topic of his betrayal and move on - but it was never that easy, was it?

The noise of the door opening interupted Ianto's thoughts. He shot a quick glance at the coffee machine, before he sheepishly stepped into the entrance area of the Hub and watched Gwen, Tosh and Owen enter. They greeted him with short nods and then all gathered around the computer desks, crossing their arms in front of their chests and whispering with each other. Just then, Jack entered as well. His pace was slower than the others', and he glanced around between Tosh, Owen and Gwen (without any of them returning the look); with a sigh, he finally shook his head and moved up to his office.

Ianto frowned. _What the fuck happened?!_ As Jack glanced back to the team once more, the welsh man tried to catch his eye, but the Captain didn't look at him.

He didn't have to wait long for an explanation though. After Jack's retreat, there was a brief silence, and Ianto went to get the coffee for the team. He left some in the machine for the Captain - he'd bring him his cup later, maybe after the tense atmosphere had cooled down a bit.

Ianto had just put down Gwen's cup on her desk when the woman turned around to him and started: "Can you believe what Jack has done?" From one second to the next he was surrounded by his three team mates who all simultaneously told and explained to him what had happened this afternoon with Jasmine and the fairies.

Ianto closed his eyes as he heard about Jack giving the child to the creatures - he suddenly understood why his friends were so upset and the atmosphere so tense. But - he could also understand Jack's decision. "He didn't have much of a choice, though, did he?", he asked carefully as the others had finished speaking.

Owen snorted and shrugged his shoulders. "Well - who knows? Maybe all we needed was some bloody time to figure something out!"

"It was a child, Ianto, an innocent child!", Gwen added. She shook her head in disapproval and took a sip of the coffee. Her face brightened up and she beamed at Ianto. "Oh God, this is delicious. How do you always do this?", she exclaimed, smiling at the young man. "C'mon, get one for yourself, take a seat with us. We can talk for a bit. Won't bother anyone."

Ianto cleared his throat. Almost automatically he'd started pondering whether he could get away with an excuse - that he needed to clean up the kitchen, or file some important documents down in the Archives, or whatever. But, then, as he looked at them - Gwen's friendly smile and Tosh's inviting gesture and Owen's encouraging nod - he suddenly realised that it was time to stop that. He'd hidden himself long enough, hadn't he?

"Why not?", he answered with a slight smile.

He was just on his way back to the kitchen to get himself a coffee when Jack stepped out of his office. The atmosphere, that had just lightened up, changed immediately, the smiles were wiped from the team's faces, and all of a sudden they were all busy drinking their coffee and typing data into the computers.

"Okay, listen-", Jack began. Nobody - except for Ianto who'd stopped on his way and had turned towards the Captain - did even care to look up to him. Jack sighed, for a brief moment there even was an expression of hurt on his face, and Ianto's heart filled with compassion for the man. _I know that it wasn't your fault. You didn't want this either._

"The Rift isn't doing much at the moment. I can manage alone for the rest of the day. Go home, everyone. Get some rest. See you tomorrow, usual time."

Still no reaction from the team - Ianto looked around between them awkwardly and cleared his throat. Jack shot a short glance at him and then, just shrugging his shoulders, returned to his office.

Without losing any further words, Gwen, Owen and Tosh each shut down their computers and packed their stuff together.

"Pub?", Owen asked, and the ladies nodded approvingly. "Sounds good", commented Gwen, while Tosh smiled at Ianto. "Coming with us?"

The welsh man hesitated for a moment before he shook his head. "Um- sorry, still got something to do in the Archive - next time, yeah?"

Gwen raised an eyebrow but they all kept their thoughts to themselves.

"Next time", Tosh nodded. "See you tomorrow."

After they'd left and he was on his own again, Ianto cursed and punched the wall. He hadn't wanted things to go this way! He had hoped to actually spend some time with his team mates, his _friends_! He knew that they still cared and worried about him. He wanted to make things right.

But then... there was of course Jack. Ianto slowly raised his eyes to the Captain's office. _I think, you could do with some company right now as well._

With a sigh, he picked up Gwen's, Owen's and Tosh's still half-full coffee mugs, carried them to the kitchen and dumped the liquid into the sink. Then he did the wash up, deciding to give Jack a few more minutes, before he finally filled the last coffee from the machine into Jack's cup, straightened himself and made his way up to the Captain's office. He hesitated a second before he eventually knocked on the door.

"Yeah?", he heard Jack calling and pushed the door open to find his boss sitting at his desk. "Oh, Ianto... what are you still doing here?"

"Brought you some coffee", Ianto answered and entered the room. As he approached Jack's desk, the first thing he noticed on it was an almost empty bottle of Whisky with a used glass next to it. He raised an eyebrow and put the coffee mug down. "... but I see you've already helped yourself, Sir."

Jack snorted and poured himself another drink. He drank it down in one sip and was about to pour out one more, as Ianto snatched both bottle and glass from him and moved them out of the Captain's reach. "How much did you have already?", he asked in a dry, matter-of-fact voice. He could smell the alcohol on Jack. "Enough, I'd say."

"Pffh, don't think so", the man responded with a bitter laugh, and yet he didn't try to get his Whisky back. "So... guess you've come to blame me as well. Shout at me. Saw you with the others, they told you what happened? Well, go on, then."

Ianto blinked in confusion and looked at Jack who stared at him as if he expected Ianto to do exactly what he'd just said.

"I- I'm not here to shout at you, Sir", he answered slowly. Jack raised an eyebrow and then glanced away.

"Oh. Yeah. Of course, I meant you as well when I said everyone can go home. It's okay, I'll manage."

A shiver ran through Ianto's body as he thought of 'going home'. 'Home' meant his flat. And he'd spent more than enough time there in the past month. In fact, he was grateful for every excuse that kept him away from there for a while.

"Look at you. If there's a Rift alarm and you have to hunt down a weevil, you'll probably see more than just one and end up attacking something that isn't there", he stated with an amused smile on his lips. "No way I leave, now when it gets interesting."

Jack narrowed his eyes. "Why _have _you come, then?"

Ianto shrugged his shoulders. "I... I want to help... uhm - talk maybe? I heard their version of the story, so how about yours?" He slowly sat down on the edge of Jack's desk, facing the older man and patiently waiting.

The Captain held Ianto's gaze for a moment; then he shook his head and glanced away. "Well, you know what? You were right that night."

Ianto frowned. "What do you mean? When?"

Jack hesitated. "The night with- Lisa." The welsh man stiffened immediately. _Why does he bring this up? Why does he bring _her_ into it now? _ "When you said that I was the biggest monster of all."

Ianto jumped up and clenched his hand into a fist. "Don't you dare!", he shouted, already taking a swing to punch Jack. His fist stopped only centimeters before the man's face. Jack didn't even blink. "Don't. You. Dare!", Ianto repeated in a growling voice, and then exhaled heavily. He sank back down on the edge of Jack's desk. Memories of the night one month ago flooded his mind and brought a new range of emotions to the mixture of anger and - whatever else it was he already felt. He ran his hand through his hair and pressed his lips together, trying to calm down.

"I didn't mean it", he finally muttered in a croaky voice. "You know that I didn't - well, maybe I did, for a few moments that night, when I wasn't... thinking straight - but it is not true."

"Isn't it?", Jack responded. He sounded as tired as Ianto felt.

"No. So stop this shit. I see why you had to do this today. No other choice, right? The Impossible Decision that still has to be made. Doesn't make you a monster. But you're the only one who could do it. Tosh, Owen, Gwen - they wouldn't have been able to make this decision. And this is what makes you our leader. They may despise you now, may ignore you or shout at you - but when it all has settled they'll see what I'm seeing right now - you did what you had to do, even though it broke your heart. And then they'll respect the decision, and they'll be grateful that they weren't the ones who had to make it. Just give them time."

Ianto finished and pondered for a moment, then he reached for the Whisky and took a sip straight from the bottle. He closed his eyes and saw Lisa - he jerked slightly and, with trembling hands, raised the bottle for another sip, knowing that this night would be a bad night.

"And you don't need time?", Jack asked. Curiosity resonated in his voice.

Ianto's thoughts wandered back to the past month. The suspension after Lisa's death had been the worst time of his life; he'd been forced to sit at home and do nothing but think about everything that had happened - the loss of Lisa, and his betrayal that made him responsible for the death of two people. If it hadn't been for Jack, Ianto wouldn't be here now. Jack had been the one who would make sure that he ate at least once a day. He'd been the one who would clean up whenever Ianto got hold of some alcohol and drank until he threw up and fell asleep on the floor. And in some nights, when Ianto would wake up screaming from a nightmare, he'd find two hands gently shaking his shoulders and a soothing voice shushing him until he realised that he'd dreamed.

Now, Ianto reached out and laid one hand on Jack's shoulder. He cracked a smile and answered: "No, I don't." _Look at us. What a couple of champions we are._

Jack sighed and closed his eyes. "Thank you", he whispered, nearly inaudible. "I- I think I really needed that right now." He pulled back his chair and stood up, slightly staggering on his feet.

Ianto rolled his eyes and caught the tottering Captain in his arms to prevent him from falling as he tried to move forward.

"Dear, dear, _seriously_, how much of that bottle did you drink today?", he commented. Then, without giving it further thought, he wrapped his arms around Jack and held him in a tight embrace. He exhaled deeply, feeling his body relax. Had he ever thanked Jack for being there for him during that month? Ianto doubted it. So he hugged him even closer and murmured quietly: "Thank _you_, Jack."

After a moment of confused disorientation, he felt Jack wrapping his arms around him as well. The whole embrace only lasted for a few seconds before Ianto slowly pulled away, leaving his hands on Jack's sides to support the man.

Jack peered at him with a pensive look. Suddenly, he leaned forward, and Ianto felt the Captain's lips pressing against his. He stiffened, completely overwhelmed - and then, he started to return the kiss, filled with an unknown inner yearning. Just like the embrace, the moment lasted far shorter than it felt like; already took Jack a step back, bumping into the chair behind him, and the two men stared at each other wide-eyed, both equally surprised by what had happened.

Jack was the first to lower his eyes; he cleared his throat and murmured an inaudible apology, but Ianto shook his head, his mouth opening and closing as he searched for words. He was confused, had so many questions - but the one that finally left his mouth wasn't among those he'd thought about- "Why the hell did you stop?"

Jack raised his glance at the welsh man. As their eyes met, they both couldn't hold back the laughter anymore - they grinned at each other and giggled in the most silly way; then Ianto reached out and carefully, almost timidly, stroked Jack's cheek, and the older man leaned into the touch with a deep sigh.

This all was strange and new, and Ianto had no idea what was happening, but it didn't matter now.

As Jack started tottering again and hiccuped, Ianto hurried to steady him and then made him sit down in his chair.

"Look at you", he said with a fond smile, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Jack 'I can manage alone for the rest of the day' Harkness! Better get you into bed." He nodded towards the hatchway on the floor. "Downstairs, is it?"

Jack nodded and yawned. "Gnn - damnit, I - argh, you're probably right about me - but-"

"I take care of everything. I spent far too much time that last month sitting at home doing nothing - I'm rather grateful that I have something to do now", Ianto cut Jack off while he moved to open up the hatch. "You go and get some rest."

"Yeah, but anyway", Jack mumbled, getting up and staggering towards him. "No drinking when on Rift duty - Ianto, I make you personally responsible to remind me of that whenever you consider it necessary."

"Let's hope you have a nice headache tomorrow to remind you", Ianto countered with a mischievous grin.

"From that bit of Whisky? Ah, you haven't seen me drinking properly. There's this space bar, y'know, and I can tell you, they serve this special brand of Hypervodka, and-"

"They sure do", Ianto hurried to interupt Jack before the Captain got too carried away with his little anecdote to be stopped. After all, the whole team had to endure more than enough of them on a daily basis.

The welsh man climbed down the ladder into Jack's bedroom. Wide-eyed, he looked around in the small spaced area. He'd known that Jack basically lived in the Hub... but seeing this little room - only the most basic furniture on the one hand, on the other hand alien-looking artefacts all over the place... he knew that what he saw here was Jack's - home... or more like all he could get for a home. _Like a man ready to leave this place any time, without even looking back._

Ianto's thoughts were interupted as Jack started climbing down the ladder after him, and the welsh man quickly moved to make sure that the Captain didn't stumble and fall.

Save on the ground, Jack yawned again and stretched himself before clumsily removing his suspenders and starting to get undressed. Ianto cleared his throat. "You're getting along, Sir?", he asked.

"Mhm-mhm, 'course. And, um, Ianto?"

The welsh man who was already on the ladder to get back upstairs, turned around and glanced down at Jack. "Yes, Sir?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders and mumbled: "Maybe... stay over tonight?"

Ianto just smiled and nodded. For the first time in a long time, his heart felt light again - God, he'd missed that feeling -, and he thought: _Maybe this night won't be such a bad night after all._


	9. This First shall be yours

**THIS FIRST SHALL BE YOURS**

_Romance_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones_

_Words: 1206_

_Could be set somewhere (early on) in season two. A quiet night on their own at the Hub. Music from the Fourties. Of course Jack wants to dance with Ianto :)_

...

Ianto spluttered as the tune of an old fourties song started playing and a lively swing melody filled the Hub. Jack came down the stairs from his office and, dancing along to the music, made his way towards the younger man who sat on the Hub's sofa with a beer in his hand.

"Seriously?", Ianto asked grinning, staring up to Jack.

"What?", the Captain replied, snapping his fingers to the song and tapping his feet. "I love the fourties!"

"Never would've guessed!"

Jack laughed and held out his hand. "Come on! Dance with me!"

"What?!"

"Come on!" The older man started humming the catchy melody, wiggling his fingers and inviting Ianto to join him. The welsh man laughed, took a sip of his beer and shook his head. "No way!"

"You know, they used to play this song during World War Two, at the soldiers' nights off, with all the fancy young ladies, and they danced, I can tell you..."

"Well, this is not the War, and I'm not one of your fancy young ladies."

"You sure about that?" Jack smirked suggestively, and Ianto responded with his best eye roll.

"Come on, Ianto, it's no big deal! We've got the Hub all for ourselves, so get up and dance!"

"Hey, when it's no big deal, why are you even so crazy about it?", Ianto asked, a bit harsher than he had intended.

Jack frowned. "What is it, Ianto?"

"Nothing, um, I'm just tired. It's been a long day, and I can't have another sleepless night. Why don't we just go to bed?"

"Seriously, Ianto, what's wrong?"

Ianto looked away from the Captain and shrugged his shoulders. After a few moments of silence, he started in a quiet voice: "You know... I used to do this often... I wasn't always... this..." He pointed around the Hub and down his suit. "Sometimes... we would come home late after a long day at work... or early in the morning after a party... and she'd turn the radio on - there's this silly station that always plays slushy love songs at night - and we would dance until we couldn't stand anymore, just the two of us in our flat... The last time that I danced, it was with her..." Ianto smiled, caught up in the memory.

Jack was taken aback. "_Lisa_?", he asked puzzled. "This is about _Lisa_?"

Ianto blinked. "Somehow... all our Lasts start to disappear, you know?", he said, lost in thought. "More and more every single day."

"Your 'Lasts'?"

Ianto raised his glance. "The last time I kissed someone, it was you. The last time I had sex, it was with you. The last time someone made me laugh until I cried, it was you. The last time I woke up from a bad dream and someone was there beside me, it was you - and... and this is good, Jack, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want it any other way... but - it feels like she's disappearing..."

Jack kneeled down before the younger man and took his hands. "Ianto...", he murmured, unable to think of anything proper to say.

"I'm sorry, Jack, I must sound ridiculous..."

"You don't!", Jack assured him quickly.

"It's like... I'm letting her slip away. And it feels wrong, I don't want to do that!"

"But you're not doing it!" Jack stroked Ianto's cheek to calm him down, looking for the right words. "You still remember all these things, don't you? They don't disappear. You still remember her kisses, her touch, all the little things like dancing with her in the middle of the night that made you two what you were. There's a difference between _'the _Last' and _'our _Last' - it's all still there, don't you see?"

Ianto slowly nodded, a sensation of understanding in his eyes. Jack smiled at him and added: "And... I really would love to have this First with you."

The catchy swing tune ended and a new song started playing. As Ianto recognized it - Betty Hutton with _I wish I didn't love you so _\- the serious look on his face broke away and he fell back on the sofa, bursting out laughing. "Well, if that's not just perfect!", he chuckled as he desperately tried to catch his breath.

Jack was completely confused by Ianto's sudden mood swing and not sure if he should be happy or worried about it. "What is it with you?", he asked with a perplexed laugh, and Ianto jumped to his feet, pulling Jack right up with him.

"What is this, a love melodrama? Seriously, a romantic, emotional heart-break moment and then a fourties song by Betty Hutton?! You gotta be kidding me! Come here!" He smiled and pulled Jack in a dance pose, holding his hand close to his chest and putting his right arm around the Captain's waist. "Knowing you, I'd almost think you planned this, Jack Harkness."

Jack was still blown away by what was happening that he couldn't help laughing. "Oh, so what's this now?"

Ianto leaned forward, resting his cheek against Jack's, and whispered: "I think I owe you a 'First', Sir."

He started swinging along to the slow rhythm of the song, and Jack had to withhold the tears that suddenly burned in his eyes.

They started dancing, both of them trying to lead at first, until Jack let Ianto take over and followed his movements.

Betty Hutton's voice filled the Torchwood Hub, only interupted by an occasional cry of Myfanwy who wheeled at the ceiling, completing the strange and yet so beautiful scenery.

Then the song faded out, and once again a lively swing tune started playing. With a low growl, Jack sild his hand down Ianto's arse and lifted the young man's leg up, pulling him even closer, and Ianto moaned, suggestively biting his lip. They started laughing and rested their foreheads against one another's.

"That was amazing", Ianto whispered.

Jack smiled. "Next time, I lead."

"Mhm, never gonna happen!"

They were kissing gently as Myfanwy screeched loud enough to drown the music. Jack giggled. "Huh, looks like our baby's really hungry!"

"'Our baby'? Seriously, Jack?"

"Hey, it fits, doesn't it?" The Captain grinned. "I _literally_ fell for you that night."

"You fell _on_ me, Jack. And then we both fell to the ground. Which was quite hard and uncomfortable, not that you would know, 'cause at least Captain Jack Harkness had a soft landing."

"Oh, don't tell me that you didn't enjoy it!", Jack teased with a cheeky grin and licked his teeth. "There definitely was _something_ hard where I landed on..."

"Stop the innuendo, Jack, the team's not even here to hear it."

"Oh, I don't mind", Jack smirked and slipped his hand beneath Ianto's pants.

The young man shivered with excitement at Jack's touch; he quickly pulled away and straightened his suit. "Hungry pterodactyl flying around in the Hub", he reminded Jack (and himself).

"_Very_ hungry Captain right here", Jack countered.

"Well, then I'll have to make sure to do something about that, Sir", Ianto responded, trying to keep a straight face. He stepped forward for another brief kiss and then turned away, grinning. "But you know how it is - the baby always comes first."


	10. Bedtime

**BEDTIME**

_Romance, Fluff_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones_

_Words: 735_

_One night at Ianto's place... This one's really just some nice, fluffy fluff :D_

...

Jack's eyes wandered lazily over the contures and shapes of Ianto's bedroom. It was dark, the only dim light came from a street lamp outside the window. The Captain was caught in a beautiful mixture of excited happiness and sleepy contentment as he gazed around the room, finally resting his eyes on the man who lay right next to him, arms crossed behind his head and face turned towards him. Ianto responded the look with the same drowsiness and a gentle smile on his lips.

Jack had been here before, of course - mostly in the nights after Lisa's death, sitting at the side of Ianto's bed, prepared to comfort the man when the nightmares were too overwhelming.

That had been months ago. But tonight was the first time that Jack was here, lying in Ianto's bed, as his lover.

It gave him the strangest feelings. Being here - he wouldn't know how to describe it... the welsh man's flat provided a certain... Innocence? Normality? Confidence? None of the words seemed to fit properly. It was something that the Hub didn't give him, something that Jack barely ever felt - no surprise he wasn't able to name it - but it made him cheerful and carefree, and he grinned and snuggled up closer to Ianto, absently giggling to himself.

"What's so funny, Jack?", Ianto asked with a yawn, moving to put an arm around the Captain and stroke his neck softly.

"Huh, dunno", the older man answered with a laugh and shrugged his shoulders. "But we should do this more often."

"What?"

"Well... being here. We should go here more often."

Ianto snorted. "This place is nothing special. It's just a flat."

_You have no idea..._, Jack thought smiling and pressed a quick kiss on Ianto's nosetip.

"What was that for?", the welsh man asked with a chuckle.

"... for you being great, I guess", Jack answered light-heartedly and joined in the laughter for a moment, before they both stopped and exchanged a tender kiss. Ianto's lips were soft, and Jack loved the tingling impression they left on his as they pulled away.

He took the time to ponder for a second. Him and Ianto... he didn't know what they were. Where they were. It hadn't been enough yet for him to figure it out. The only thing he was certain of was that Ianto was special. And that Jack had known for long before they'd started shagging.

He lifted his hand to caress the younger man's cheek.  
Ianto relaxed into his touch and slowly laid back, yawning again. God, he was so beautiful when he was sleepy. He looked so much younger then. So innocent and untroubled.  
"Though I see your point, Jack - I've got the bigger bed. _That_ is a reason to come here more often", he mumbled with closed eyes, and Jack laughed.

"Just saying... One more night of falling out of your bed because apparantly you can't get a bigger one-", Ianto continued and demonstratively stretched his limbs beneath the covers.

"Oh, _you_ fall out of bed? I'm the one spending half the nights on the floor - you just sleep too tight to wake up and notice", Jack teased.

Ianto chuckled and shook his head. "So _you _say, Sir - however, that's it then, my place more often, starting tonight." Another long, hearty yawn. "Good night, Jack."

"Good night, Ianto."

They both fell silent. Jack shot another glance at Ianto before he rested his head on the pillow and closed his eyes as well. He'd never needed much sleep and rarely got really tired, but this was one of those days, and tonight it didn't take either of them long to doze off.

The two men moved around subconsciously, their breaths steadying as the fell asleep, until their bodies finally rested along with their minds.

As Jack woke up early in the next morning, he found Ianto halfway lying on him, while he himself had wrapped his arms around the young man. Smiling, he raised his head just enough to reach Ianto's forehead and press a gentle kiss on it. Then Jack carefully tightened his grasp, trying not to wake Ianto, and thought about their silliness.

Here the were, lying right in the middle of Ianto's big bed, lots of space to both their sides... holding on to each other and making sure that the other wouldn't fall out.


	11. Cause Light and Shadow Go Together

**'CAUSE LIGHT AND SHADOW GO TOGETHER**

_Romance, bit of Hurt/Comfort, bit of Angst_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Toshiko Sato, Gwen Cooper, Owen Harper_

_Words: 3912_

_One morning, Ianto wakes up covered with bruises and scratches and with a blood stain next to him. And no memory of the last night._

...

Jack was sitting in his office trying to complete the file on the alien spaceship wreck that had come through the Rift and had kept the team busy the last couple of days - bits and pieces shattered all over Cardiff -, as his phone started ringing. He yawned - last night had been an all-nighter for him, and he'd only got about two hours of sleep because he'd dozed off in his office chair.

Now, Jack mindlessly reached into his pocket and shot a short glance at the phone screen. His face brightened as he read Ianto's name, and he answered the call with a wide smile on his face. "Good Morning, Sleeping Beauty. Tell me that you're still in bed, just woke up and called me only to tell me about that weird dream you had, including both of us in some situations that are definitely not safe for work...", he started in a light-hearted tone.

It was Ianto's weekend off (on Jack's order and with lots of complaints on the side of the welsh man). The Captain had sent him home early the previous day and told him not to come in for the rest of the week - but knowing his lover, Ianto was already up, bored, and about to bug Jack to let him come to the Hub.

Not this time.

"Jack... you need to come over to my place...", Jack heard the hoarse voice on the other end of the line saying. He sat up straight in his chair, immediately alarmed.

"Ianto? Are you alright?"

"Please... can't tell over the phone... please..."

Jack's heart started beating faster, and he was already on his feet, grabbing his coat and storming out of his office. "There in a minute. Hang on, yeah? Are you okay?"

"I'm- I don't know-"

"Ianto?" Jack clutched the phone in his hand out of worry.

"I'm... I'm okay - just hurry, yeah?"

OoO

Jack opened the throttle as he raced through the city on his way to Ianto's flat. He rushed up the stairs, unlocked the front door and called Ianto's name. The answer came from the bedroom - "I'm here, Jack" - the Captain pushed the door open and entered the room.

He found (rather to his surprise) that Ianto was, in fact, still in bed. He sat with his blanket wrapped around him, knees pulled close to his body, and looked at Jack out of wide opened eyes that mirrored both confusion and fear.

Ianto was the first thing Jack noticed. The second was the dark stain that stood out on the beige carpet next to his bed. _Blood_, he immediately realised in the back of his mind. _It's blood._ The Captain stood in his place frozen for a second, eyes wandering quickly from Ianto to the stain and back. "What happened?"

Ianto shrugged his shoulders in a gesture of despair. "I don't know. That's the problem."

"What do you mean, you don't know?", Jack asked, narrowing his eyes and moving closer, careful not to step on the stain.

"I - don't - know!", Ianto repeated slowly and let the blanket drop off his shoulders. Jack sat down by his side and gasped as he looked at his lover - Ianto was naked except for his pants, and his body was covered with bruises and scratches. "Ianto-", he whispered and carefully brushed over the young man's blessures with his finger tips. "Where- where did you get those from?" Ianto hadn't been out in the field with Torchwood for a week (and even if he had been, and even if he had been injured, Jack would have known, of course), and yet he looked like he had been into a fight.

"I don't know. They were there when I woke up this morning", Ianto responded and bit his lip.

Jack's frown deepened. "But... there must be something... what do you remember - you must remember something..."

Ianto shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. "I remember going to bed last night. And then waking up like this. That's it."

"Then we're going to find out. Don't worry." Carefully, Jack drew his lover close. Ianto winced a little, and the Captain's heart sank. It made him ache to see the young man injured like this, and he gently started kissing his bruises and stroking his neck. "Silly question, I know - but how do you feel?", he asked in a soft voice, raising his gaze.

Ianto snorted and smiled a half-smile. "All bruised and battered, I guess. Bit of a headache. But mostly... just confused."

"What did you do yesterday night? Anything special?"

The welsh man shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing, really. Watched a Bond movie, the one that was on Telly, Roger Moore... didn't even make it to the end. I was tired, I think I doze off a few times... You called, remember? Saying you'd stay in the Hub for the night... I think I went to bed after that."

"Hmmm." Jack shook his head. "This is really strange. Something must have happened. I didn't have you in for sleepwalking. Would've noticed that by now, wouldn't I?" He smiled and caressed Ianto's face.

The young man looked at him wide-eyed. There was a hint of fear in his expression, even though he tried to hide it. "This- this really... um, it scares me, Jack. How can I not know... how can I have forgotten what happened - something _did_ happen, and I reckon..." Ianto glanced down at the stain on the floor. "... it wasn't something good."

Jack cleared his throat, trying to focus. "I- I think the best thing to do is for you to get some rest. It's your weekend off anyway. Tonight, I'll stay up and watch over you, alright? See if anything happens."

He expected Ianto to protest as he usually would; the greater was his surprise when the welsh man nodded in agreement. A shiver ran through the Captain's body as he realised how terrified and startled Ianto was.

"Right, then... um, I...what- what should we do?" God, sometimes Jack was so glad that around Ianto, he could let his guard down, he could ask him for advice, he didn't have to be the leader that he'd never wanted to be.

Ianto sighed and leaned his head against Jack's shoulder. "We need to get back to the Hub, and-"

"The Hub?"

"Well, I'm not staying here all day, Jack."

"You're right... and Owen can give you a full medical. Good."

"And also... we need to get a sample of this-", Ianto murmured and pointed at the blood stain next to his bed. They both went silent for a moment, and Jack's eyes wandered over Ianto's bruised body and back to the stain. Ianto had some bad scratches. Surely he _had _bled. The smudge on the carpet though... "I... need to make sure that this is- my blood", Ianto added quietly. He sounded as doubtful as Jack's thoughts were.

_What if it isn't?_

Jack let out a heavy sigh. "Okay, I'll take care of this. You get dressed. And don't worry, okay? We'll sort this out. It's all going to be fine."

Ianto snorted. "As you say, Sir."

oOo

"Nope. Can't find anything. Except for the scratches and bruises - only minor injuries here, should heal up in a few days - there seems to be nothing wrong with you. Also found nothing in your systems, no drugs or Retcon...", Owen said as he'd finished his medical examination of Ianto.

Grumbling a roughly repressed "Finally", the welsh man hopped off the table he'd been sitting on for his check up and put his shirt and jacket back on. With his suit on, all his bruises and scratches were hidden, and he looked just the usual - but his movements were somewhat hasty, and his look was like haunted, token of the state he was in.

Jack stepped up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. "What about the blood sample?", he asked Owen.

"Yeah, give it a minute, Jack. As soon as I know, I'll tell you", the doctor grunted.

Ianto shifted and shrugged the Captain's hand off his shoulder. Clearing his throat, he said: "Well, now that I'm here, I can just as well carry on cataloging that spaceship junk. I'll be down in the Archives, then."

"What? No, you should get some rest until we know more", Jack protested.

"You heard Owen; I'm fine. I'm better off working - you know that, Jack." It was unusual for Ianto to contradict with him in front of the rest of the team - for now though, the Captain let the welsh man wander off without further comment. _He's probably right. He certainly won't be sitting around nice and quiet._

oOo

About an hour later, Jack was sitting in his office when Owen rushed in. "Jack!"

"Owen! You got the blood analysed?"

The doctor nodded. "You better get Ianto."

Jack felt his heart beating faster in his chest as he stood up to go down to the Archives. He called a few times for the welsh man, making his way through the narrow corridors between high shelves, stuffed with alien artefacts and files that dated back a long way. He found Ianto in a darkened corner, a piece of alien metal in his hand, motionless staring down at it.

"Ianto?"

The young man jerked a little and raised his glance at Jack, as if he'd been somewhere else with his mind. "Yes, Sir?"

"Owen's got the results of the blood sample."

"Is it-?"

"He didn't say. Wanted me to get you first."

"Oh. Hm. That could mean it's- well, let's go."

Ianto put the piece of metal down and turned to move past Jack and lead the way, but the Captain held him back and drew him close for a kiss. He felt Ianto, stiffened at first, relax under his grip, and as they pulled away, the welsh man had a small smile on his lips.

"_Now_ let's go", Jack breathed softly and took his lover's hand. Ianto squeezed it tightly and nodded.

Owen awaited them in the medical bay; Gwen and Tosh were upstairs, leaning on the railing and looking down to them. Jack stood close to Ianto; he crossed his arms in front of his chest, narrowing his eyes at Owen, and nodded. "Go on, then."

"You won't like it", Owen announced and cleared his throat. "It's blood, it's human blood, it's a man's blood - it's not Ianto's blood."

Jack's heart sank and his eyes shot to Ianto. The young man had lowered his glance and started breathing heavily. Upstairs, he heard Tosh and Gwen shifting. It was silent for a few moments, then Ianto started speaking in a croaky voice: "So... uhm... what- what does that... what-?"

"How can that be?", Tosh interupted, followed by Gwen: "What the fuck is going on?"

Jack raised his hands - "Everyone stay calm", he said in a firm voice, cutting them off. "Okay, I don't want to hear anyone of you panicking or speculating, you got that? Owen - run that sample through all the databases we have, maybe we get lucky and find a match. Tosh, I want you to look through the CCTV footage from around Ianto's flat of tonight, see if you find anything. Ianto, Gwen - go back to Ianto's place. Maybe we missed something this morning. And ask the neighbours if they noticed anything strange. Go!"

oOo

They spent the next couple of hours trying to shine some light into the mystery of what had happened, but none of them were particulary successful. Owen didn't find a match for the blood sample; Tosh watched the CCTV footage within a close radius of Ianto's flat - but she didn't see anything out of the ordinary, let alone Ianto. Ianto and Gwen invented a burglary and asked his neighbours about strange noises or events past night, but, of course, nobody had heard or seen anything here as well.

Jack had used the time to prepare whatever they had on mind tests - mostly alien artefacts that they used every now and then for their investigations. However, his hopes of delving into Ianto's subconscience and retrieve the memory of last night were shattered as well and the tests brought no other news than that Ianto apparantly had a secret obsession with cute animal videos.

At one point Ianto suggested they'd try the mind probe that they last had used on Beth, the sleeper agent of Cell 114, but Jack cut him off immediately. "No! We're not at that point yet!"

"I thought you said it's not dangerous, as long as I don't have extremely high blood pressure", the welsh man snapped back.

"The least it will do, is bring you pain. And I won't let that happen. I won't treat you like an alien or a criminal suspect!"  
"Jack, in my bedroom there's the blood of a stranger - mind you, I rather feel like a criminal suspect!"

"Good thing then that I make the decisions here. And I don't want to hear of this again!", Jack growled and turned away before Ianto could respond.

After they'd done all Jack could think off without any new insights whatsoever, the Captain sent the team home early. He orderd Gwen to come in later for the night shift - there had been a bit of rift activity the whole day, supposedly more bits of that alien ship - and told Owen to be on standby tonight, in case something would happen with Ianto again. The doctor grunted and grimaced in his familiar fashion, but Jack could see the worry in his eyes. They all shared the same concern for Ianto.

After he had sent them all off, the Captain looked around for his lover. _He's probably down in the Archives again._ Jack sighed, but he decided to leave him alone. The whole day, Ianto had been the centre of attention. And he hated that. _So if he needs some time alone..._

He was proven wrong as he returned to his office - Ianto was there, slumped in his chair and glancing up as the Captain entered. A weak smile hushed over his face. He looked exhausted.

"Hey", Jack murmured and stepped closer, sitting down on the edge of his desk; their usual positions reversed.

"Hey", Ianto responded. His smile widened a bit as he gazed at Jack.

"How do you feel?"  
The young man shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "Don't know. Terrified. By... myself. By what I might have done-"

"Hey! We don't know yet if you '_have done' _anything!"

"That's it, Jack - we don't know." Ianto shook his head and rubbed his hand over his face. "I don't understand this. Why - _how_ does something like that happen? _How_ can I not remember anything? Give me an alien everyday..."

Jack chuckled and reached down to take Ianto's hand. The younger man entwined their fingers and then slowly came to his feet. He leaned against Jack, resting his head on the Captain's shoulder, and Jack held him firmly, his free hand caressing Ianto's back. It was one of those quiet moments they both cherished so much, a brief pause from the rest of the world where they found strength in one another.

oOo

The smell of freshly brewed coffee made Jack look up from his book and inhale deeply. He watched Ianto, changed and dressed in pyjamas bottoms, entering the living room and putting a big cup of coffee on the coffee table in front of him. Then the welsh man joined him on the sofa, wrapped his arms around Jack and pressed a gentle kiss on his neck.

The Captain grinned and let his hands slide over Ianto's bare chest. Ianto moved slightly backwards and quietly signed Jack to turn around. The older man raised one eyebrow curiously as he followed the lead, and moaned in delight as Ianto started massaging his shoulders. "Ha, look at this. I'm getting spoiled", he mumbled with a joyful chuckle.

"You certainly deserve it, Sir", Ianto responded. Jack felt his breath against his neck and shivered in pleasure.

"That so?", he murmured and closed his eyes, sighing happily.

"You shouldn't have to do this tonight."

"Oh, I'm fine, don't worry 'bout me", Jack shrugged, slightly unpleased that they were having this discussion again.

"You didn't get any sleep last night!"

"Hey, but I did. A couple of hours, at least. Sort of. And it's not about me, so, yeah, I _am_ fine!"  
"Alright, alright", Ianto gave in with a laugh. "I'm not trying to stop you. God knows, I couldn't if I wanted to, you stubborn idiot. But you deserve _at least_ my best coffee and a massage."

Jack smirked, relaxing again under the movements of Ianto's talented hands. "Won't argue against that."

"Oh, and when we're finished here...", Jack felt Ianto's lips on his neck, moving up to gently bite his earlobe, "You can do with me whatever you want, Captain."

Jack's excitement grew with the hard-on in his pants. He groaned. "Why, Mr. Jones, you're giving me ideas..."

oOo

It took a while until Ianto finally fell asleep. After some wild sex that had made them both forget everything for a while, he'd lain in Jack's arms and started worrying all over again - "I don't know what I fear more - that something happens tonight or that nothing happens." Jack hadn't answered and just continued holding and rocking Ianto. The welsh man's exhaustion thanks to the fuss of the day had helped that he had fallen asleep at last.

Now, Jack sat at Ianto's bedside, afraid that, if he'd lay down next to his lover, he would doze off as well. He spent the time alternately reading his book and watching Ianto in his sleep. He loved seeing the young man in those vulnerable moments, and he felt privileged by Ianto's trust to let him see that. Asleep, with red cheeks, ruffled hair and bare his suit, Jack could catch a glimpse of the boy - the boy that had seen too much already...

The night passed without disturbance; Ianto moved beneath his sheets every now and then, at one point mumbling Jack's name - the Captain felt a blissful shiver running through his body at that moment - and as the first grey light announced a new day, he started snoring noisily (making Jack giggle). Otherwise, nothing had happened, especially nothing that could have led to a bruised Ianto and a stranger's blood on the carpet.

About 6.30am, Gwen called. Jack answered the phone with a quick glance to his lover, glad that the ringing phone hadn't woken him up. Gwen told him that the Rift had stayed calm, nothing come through, and asked if she could go home, arguing that at least Tosh would be in soon anyway.

"Fine by me", Jack agreed. "Get some sleep; I'll call you when we need you at the Hub."  
"Yeah, great. And how was your night?"

Jack peeked at Ianto, still sound and asleep. "Also calm."

"Nothing happened?"

"No."

"Hm. That's good, right? So what do you think it is, then? What happened with Ianto?"

"I really don't know."

"And that stranger - whose blood was in Ianto's bedroom - that was quite a lot, wasn't it? I'm wondering what happened to him. Must be seriously injured, at least."

Jack snorted. "Well, I start worrying about him when I know who he is and what he was doing in Ianto's flat."

"... in his bedroom... in the middle of the night", Gwen added in a teasing voice.

"Shut it, Cooper!", the Captain responded with a chuckle and an eye roll before he hung up.

Ianto woke up about two hours later. He stretched himself and yawned, and Jack put his book away to look at him with a wide grin on his face. "Morning, sunshine. How'd you sleep?"

Ianto, lying on his stomach, lifted his head languidly and blinked against the light that shone through the bedroom window. "Mhm?", he grunted and rolled himself over on his side. "Oh, Jack. Mornin'."

"Aw, look at you", Jack commented with a laugh. "All sleepy and ruffled!" He moved from his chair onto the bed, sitting down next to Ianto and running his fingers through the young man's hair.

Ianto yawned again - then suddenly stopped in his movements and stared up to Jack out of wide eyes. "Did anything happen tonight?"

The Captain shook his head. "No, you slept well through. Most exciting thing was when you started snoring."

Ianto frowned. "Oh. Okay. Quiet night, then. What now?"

Jack sighed and kissed his forehead. "Please, let's just get up, maybe have some breakfast, before you start worrying again, okay? In fact, I am a bit tired. Let's just be happy for the moment that nothing happend tonight."

oOo

Jack blinked into the dark, still half asleep. What had woken him up this time? He turned his head to squint at the shape of the man next to him.

"Ianto?", he whispered, reaching out to gently close his fingers around the younger man's wrist. "You awake?"

He didn't get an answer. With a sigh, Jack lifted his head to glance at the LED of the alarm clock on Ianto's bedside table. 2.00am. He grunted and laid back, moving closer to his lover and resting his head against his shoulder. _Could still grab some sleep._

A deep, growling sound rose from Ianto's throat next to him, and this time, Jack sat up straight. "Ianto?!", he asked, his voice a tone sharper than before.

A bit of mumbling and babbling was the only response he got; then the young man turned to his side and went silent again, his chest raising and lowering evenly with his breathing. Jack fell back on his pillow with a yawn, rolling around to spoon into Ianto's back. He closed his eyes and tightend the grip around his lover. A few minutes later, he was asleep again.

.

Two weeks had passed since Ianto had woken up covered in strange bruises and scratches and with the blood of a stranger on his floor. Two weeks filled with research and tests that all led to nothing. What had happened to Ianto that night stayed a mystery. What they were doing now, was just some sort of... easing their conscience? Routine? Jack had figured after the first few days that they wouldn't find anything. He spent all the nights with Ianto - not necessarily watching over him, though he had a light sleep anyway - and not once Ianto had even woken up.

So whatever it was that had happened, it slowly faded away from them.

.

Then the next week, Martha Jones came to Torchwood to investigate the Pharm, and what followed made the team forget about the whole incident.

Only sometimes, when they were alone, Jack would look at Ianto and see - a certain sparkle in his eyes, a wicked smile on his lips... and he'd wonder what it was about Ianto Jones, some secret so deeply hidden that even the man himself didn't realise-

And then, the next moment, Ianto would look at him, the sparkle in his eyes joy and the smile on his lips sweet, and Jack would forget his thoughts, lean over and kiss him.


	12. A Moment of Happiness

**A MOMENT OF HAPPINESS**

_Romance, Fluff_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones_

_Words: 777_

_Coda to the ending of "The Dead Line"_

...

Ianto watched Gwen and Stella wander off, and then, hesitantly, turned to Jack. Jack beamed at him, smiling, and grabbed his coat, ready to go.

"So...", Ianto started, slowly getting up as well. "You don't... remember anything about the trance?"

"No", Jack answered, and Ianto nodded. Silly, wasn't it? He felt the slightest bit of disappointment... but it probably was for the better. He'd asked anyway that Jack wouldn't bring up his little speech- well, not that Jack remembered.

"Did you talk to me while I was out of it? They say, that's what you should do..."

Ianto glanced away, feeling caught out all of a sudden. "I talked, a little..." He shrugged his shoulders, put his hands in his pockets, smiled a little smile. "But - I'm not really much of a talker..."

"I know..."

"That's just me." Ianto raised his eyes to Jack. His face brightened. In this moment, he was just... genuinely happy. He'd been so afraid. He was used to see Jack die - though that didn't make it easier - but the trance... that had been something new and terrifying, and Ianto was just glad that it was over, and that he had Jack back.

"Yeah...", Jack responded to his comment. He closed the distance between them, one hand reaching up to caress Ianto's face. They were in a crowded hospital, but this time the welsh man didn't care about the public display. "But... you never will just be a blip in time, Ianto Jones. Not for me."

Ianto's heart skipped a beat as he looked into Jack's eyes, surprised and overwhelmed. _Oh..._

There wasn't much that needed to be said as they gazed at each other. They leaned their foreheads against one another's and rested for a moment.

"I'm glad you're back", Ianto whispered after a while, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, inhaling Jack's scent.

"I'll always come back to you", Jack breathed in a soft voice. With a smile, he added: "And why wouldn't I? You took good care of me, once again. What would I even do without you?"

Ianto chuckled quietly, shaking his head. "Don't." He pulled back and sighed, absently entwining his fingers with Jack's. "Let's get out of here. Had enough of that hospital smell to last for a while. Coming?"

"Yeah. Let's... let's go home."

They wandered down the corridors, still holding hands. Ianto wasn't bothered. Jack leaned in to him a little, resting his head on the welsh man's shoulder as they waited for the elevator to arrive.

Whoever would've looked at them in this moment, wouldn't have seen anything but sheer happiness, the sort that makes the world around you disappear.

They didn't speak, exchanging a tender kiss in the elevator, hands caressing the other's face and hair.

Outside the hospital, the two man looked at each other. Jack raised an eyebrow and Ianto nodded with a wide grin as they silently agreed to walk instead of taking the SUV - quick text to Gwen on that behalf - or calling a cab to get to Ianto's flat - which was _their_ flat for quite a while by now.

The weather wasn't the most pleasant that day; it was cloudy and windy and rather cold, and they had some way to go - but, still, they weren't bothered. They walked close together, the hand-holding soon turned into them walking arm in arm. People passed them by, glancing at them - most days, Ianto would examine the looks on their faces, probably soon stiffen, clear his throat, pull away a bit, anything to not raise any attention to himself being with another man. Sometimes, he didn't even know why he did that.

But today it didn't matter anyway. The smile on Ianto Jones' face was bright as he snuggled up closer to his Captain. He felt Jack gently squeezing his arm and tightened his own grip around the man's waist. Another case of Torchwood closed, and now they were walking home. They would cook together, having fun in making a mess out of the kitchen and cleaning it up afterwards; then a movie, cuddled up on the sofa in the living room, with snacks on the coffee table; then they'd go to bed, make love to each other, hold and caress each other, finally dozing off to sleep in each other's arms. Some hours of domesticity, some hours of normal-couple-happiness.

Ianto thought about Jack's words in the hospital, the Captain's acknowledgement of his little speech. _You never will just be a blip in time, Ianto Jones. Not for me._

And after all, that was the only thing he needed to know.


	13. Home Is Where The Heart Is

**HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS**

_Romance, Hurt/Comfort_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones_

_Words: 3241_

_"When this is all done... dinner... a movie..." - "Are you asking me out on a date?" - "Interested?" _

_So here it is, my take on the Kiss Kiss Bang Bang date, which should be all you need to know about this one :)_

...

Ianto's eyes wandered up to the clock at the wall. Not even half past six yet, he had enough time left to get ready. More than enough. Jack had said he'd be there at seven.

Ianto looked at the suit he had laid out neatly on his bed, and for the third time now he took the tie and switched it for another one. And that light blue shirt, was he sure about that? The trousers, really, what'd he done with them, he should use his time to brush them out properly.

Ianto sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, glancing up to the clock again. He didn't even know why he was as nervous as he was. Wasn't a big deal, was it? Just dinner with Jack. _Just dinner with Jack..._ Ianto snorted. _A date. A proper date with Jack Harkness. Wow._

Almost a week had passed since Jack had returned from- wherever this son of a bitch had been. It hadn't been the most pleasant week in Ianto's life. The whole team, thrown off and right back in again: So Jack was back now out of the blue - no time to catch your breath, because all of a sudden this Hart appeared - then the Rift going crazy and spitting out all sorts of alien filth - long story short, Ianto and Jack hadn't found any time yet to, well, _sort things out _between them. Until now. The Rift activity was slowly getting back to normal, and Jack had found back to his position as Torchwood's leader (kind of). And so, earlier this day, he'd ordered Ianto to come to his office just as he'd wanted to leave.

Ianto couldn't help but smile and shake his head by the thought of it. _Oh, Jack..._

oOo

With a quick glance, Jack checked the monitors for Rift activity. It had been one of the calmer days - finally! - filled with the paper work of a busy week rather than with out-in-the-field action. And for as much as he hated doing paper work, this time he'd been grateful for the respite. Things had been going crazy since his return, probably thanks to John Hart - the Rift apparantly didn't like being played around with by a Time Agent with a Vortex Manipulator. Still, Jack couldn't deny that it had been a fascinating week - watching his team in action. There'd been moments when it'd felt like he wasn't even there with them; they sprung to action, everyone knew exactly what to do, as if they'd never needed him - _Didn't leave them much of a choice, did I?_

Jack closed his eyes. Leaving them for the Doctor - oh, it seemed such a long time ago. Well, it was, at least for him. The longest year ever... a shiver ran through Jack's body and his eyes shot open. For one moment, he'd seen _him_ again, the Master, and he'd felt the iron shackles around his wrists, and the heat-

No. Swallowing hard, Jack turned away from the monitors and, hands still slightly shaking, reached for his grey coat. _I have a date._ His stomach warmed a little as he thought of the night that was about to follow, the man he was about to spend it with. A little smile hushed over Jack's face. _It's over, over. No dream this time. This time, it's real. _The smile grew wider. Humming some fourties tune, the Captain slipped in his coat, stood on the Invisible Lift and pushed a button on his wrist strap to activate it. As he went up, he felt his heart pounding in his chest. Funny... when had he last been that excited for a date? He laughed.

..

He'd let Ianto come to his office earlier - had been nervous then already, standing behind his desk, fumbling with some papers in his hand, clearing his throat before he'd started to speak. _So, um, remember what I asked you recently? You said yes._

_What d'you mean, Sir?_ The look on Ianto's face almost blank, no sign if he actually had or had not known what Jack had been talking about.

_I think, Mr. Jones, you owe me a date._ It'd been cheesy, Jack knew that. He couldn't help it, since he was back - that certain awkwardness. He and Ianto needed to talk. He needed to apologize.

Still, besides all the cheesiness, Ianto's face had brightened a little. _I do, in fact. So, what do you suggest?_

_It's been a calm day. Rift predictions say, it'll be a calm night as well. How about... a restaurant- dinner? I pick you up. Seven o'clock. What... what do you say?_

_I say yes._ Ianto had smiled, and it had been the first smile he'd given Jack since his return that was truly genuine.

oOo

Ianto ran his fingers through his hair and smiled at his reflection in the mirror. Black suit, light blue shirt, dark blue tie (he'd only switched one more time). He knew that he looked good. He knew that Jack would like him. With a sigh, the welsh man sat down on his bed. What he didn't understand, was why he worried so much in the first place. After all, this wasn't a traditional first date, far from it! And, of course, Ianto had rather good reason to be angry with Jack. In fact, he still was.

After John Hart had left through the Rift, they'd needed to avoid their other selves for a while, and Jack and him had spent this time together - yet, there hadn't been much talking. Not that they hadn't tried... Over the course of Jack's disappearance, Ianto had built up quite a few questions, things he wanted to say - even more then with the Captain's out-of-the-blue return - but as he'd finally been alone with the man, he'd barely known what to say. And Jack - Jack had been the same sort of awkward mess as earlier, in the office.

The first minutes of silence had been followed by quite a bit of shouting - but right there, Ianto couldn't keep his anger up for long. It hadn't been hard to see that Jack was different somehow, changed. It'd been in the way he'd - jerked back as Ianto had raised his voice, barely visible, and how his eyes had widened for a moment...

_Then I guess his _adventure _with the Doctor wasn't all good after all. Something happened to him._

Ianto closed his eyes. That day, Jack hadn't told him anything. Maybe tonight, he would give him some insight.

The welsh man was so rapt in thought that he jumped as the doorbell rang. Quickly, he stood up - another quick look in the mirror. Then he went to open the door.

oOo

Hands in his pockets, Jack slowly climbed the stairs to Ianto's flat.

In his absence, things had changed in Torchwood's team dynamics - especially concerning Ianto. In the past week, Jack had been able to see that. The welsh man was often out with the others now, with his own share of shooting, chasing aliens and field action - and he did good. He wasn't just the tea boy anymore, and it was not only Jack who saw that - the whole team treated him with more respect and confidence than before. Actually, when he looked at them all, Jack realised that this might be the one good thing that came out of his disappearance without a goodbye: Tosh, Gwen, Owen, Ianto - they worked like a proper team now. Taking on the responsibilty instead of giving up - it had brought the best out of them. _Not to forget how hot Ianto looks with a gun and all messed up._

With a smile, Jack rang the door bell. After a few moments, he heard the sound of approaching steps, and then Ianto opened the door. "Jack."

And he looked stunning. Jack couldn't help eyeing the welsh man up, in his elegant suit, the hair styled neatly, the small smile on his face. "Hey, gorgeous", he finally said with a big grin.

Ianto cleared his throat and held the door wide open. "So... what's the plan? Wanna come in first?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I booked a table for quarter past seven, and it'd be a ten minute walk if you'd like..."

"Yeah, of course." Ianto stepped back into his flat, and Jack heard the clink of keys and watched as the welsh man put on an overcoat.

As he appeared again at the door, Jack playfully offered him an arm. "May I lead your way?"

Ianto hesitated, and the Captain saw how his eyes quickly wandered past the street. Hastily, he let his arm drop and cleared his throat. _Too bold? Damnit, idiot!_

Ianto stepped out and closed the door behind him. "Um - shall we?", he asked awkwardly, so Jack put his trademark grin back on and nodded enthusiastically. "Yep, c'mon."

oOo

They walked the first minutes side by side in silence, then Ianto slowed down a bit and looked at Jack. "So, this is it then, I guess", he started and bit his lip. "Let's... talk?"

The Captain returned the welsh man's gaze and clicked his tongue. "Yeah... yeah."

Another silence. Their hands brushed against each other as they walked, and Ianto linked their fingers for a moment.

Jack bit his lip. "So. Where do we start?", he asked carefully.

To his surprise, Ianto laughed. "Bloody good question. We suck at this, don't we?"

"What?"

"Talking... as in _talking_ talking."

"We haven't even started yet."

"Exactly."

Now they were both laughing, and Jack felt with relief how that strange stiffness between them started to vanish.

"Okay, where to start...", Ianto tried again. "Well, then... how did you find the Doctor in the first place?"

Jack raised his eyebrows, surprised about this first question. "Huh, okay. Um, remember that severed hand I kept?"  
"'Course. You took it with you when you went away. Figured it belonged to him."

"Yeah. That hand - it's still kind of - connected with him. I used it to track him, and then, as he landed in Cardiff... y'know, the Doctor uses the Rift to charge up his Tardis - I mean his-"

"His ship to travel in time and space, I know", Ianto interrupted, and as Jack gave him a surprised look, he shrugged his shoulders and added: "Torchwood One, remember? I know my bits about the Doctor."

Jack snorted. "Oh, right. So, you know him... as a threat? 'Cause he's not, believe me."

Again, Ianto shrugged. "You know me better than to think that I blindly trust everything they told us at One. Okay, fair enough - now, why did you leave us without a single word?"

Jack looked down. He felt a wave of guilt running through him - but, then of course, it was more than that. Because he hadn't planned it this way. He had no idea what he _had_ thought would happen, but this - there it was again, he saw the Tardis dematerialising in front of him and how he clung to it last second; he saw the Doctor looking at him with this strange expression on his face, and he heard his words - _"...because you're wrong"_ \- with all his immortality, this was one wound that didn't heal that easily. _I couldn't say goodbye because the Doctor was running away from me and that was my only chance._

All of a sudden, Jack stopped and grasped Ianto's hand. The welsh man looked at him wide-eyed.

"Ianto..."

"Jack? Are you alright?"

The Captain closed his eyes and sighed. "I... I owe you answers. I know that. But there- there are some things I can't tell you. Not yet. Nothing to do with you, I just- I'll tell you one day, but I can't just yet..."

"Hey", Ianto's soft voice interrupted him, and then Jack felt a hand on his cheek, gently caressing him. "It's okay. Don't worry..." The Captain opened his eyes and glanced at Ianto. The welsh man gave him an assuring smile. "It's fine. I understand."

_There's a reason I didn't choose to travel with the Doctor in the end. All that waiting... only to show me where I really belong. And _he_ would never say that I'm wrong. _

oOo

Ianto just couldn't help it. As he and Jack sat down at the table in the restaurant, he caught himself looking around nervously, wondering if anyone here knew that he and Jack were lovers. _It's so fucking silly._

A waiter arrived, bringing them menus and the wine list.

"What d'you wanna drink?", Jack asked smiling, reaching across the table to take Ianto's hand. The welsh man stiffened and quickly pulled away, clearing his throat; he stared nervously at the wine list and just ordered the next best thing.

"Sorry, I just thought...", Jack began as the waiter was gone.

Ianto shook his head and hid his face behind the menu. "No. I mean- I'm- I'm just being silly. It's okay. Don't be sorry. I- um, I don't know", he stuttered and closed his eyes, feeling embarrassed and guilty. He shouldn't be ashamed of being with Jack. He wasn't. Was he?

"Maybe it's me. Maybe you still need time", Jack tried again, his voice soft. "Y'know, maybe we just have to figure out where we are. What we are. I guess I... tend to forget that I can't just pick things up where I left off. It's not the same- _we_ are not the same."

Ianto lowered the menu to face the Captain. "Things were easier back then, weren't say?", he commented with a laugh. _For example, I never thought I'd feel for you the way I do. I never thought I'd miss you as much as I did. You bastard._

Jack smiled a sad smile. "Yeah. Guess they were." His eyes drifted off, and for a moment he seemed absent, as if his mind was somewhere far away. "I missed you", he added, focusing on Ianto again.

The welsh man nodded. "Tell me 'bout it."

"I'm sorry-"

"No more apologies." Ianto sighed and glanced away. "Let's... rather get on. The talking thing."

"What d'you want to know?"  
"Simple. With the Doctor - where were you?"

Jack hesitated, apparantly thinking about the question. The waiter returned with their wine, shortly deflecting their attention.

"Not as simple as you think", the Captain finally started, taking a sip of the wine. Ianto raised an eyebrow. "Start with... the end of the universe. Quite literally."

Ianto's eyes widened. "Uh- woah. So... how was that?"

Jack laughed. "Well. Didn't stay there for long. There was this other Timelord, and we went back in time... went here, actually."

"What do you mean... here?", the welsh man asked with a frown.

"Earth. London. 2008."

"_What?!_"

"And then a year passed."

"Jack, I don't understand-"

"You couldn't. The Year That Never Was..."

Ianto raised his hand to shut the Captain up. He squinted and tried to process Jack's words but it all just seemed like babbling to him. "Sorry, I'm afraid you gotta start over again. You're not making sense", he finally said, opening his eyes again.

The expression on Jack's face had changed. There was fear in his eyes, and pain. He blinked, as if to chase away a bad memory, some picture in his mind, and all of a sudden he jerked backwards in his chair, almost falling.

Ianto jumped up, startled, and moved around to hold his lover, firmly gripping his shoulders. "Jack! Stay with me, Jack!"

The Captain gasped and looked up to him, disoriented for a moment. "I- I- sorry... sorry, for a second I thought-"

Ianto exhaled deeply. "Are you alright?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah. I just- well. Memories."

"C'mon. You need to get some air."

They had attracted quite some attention to themselves - not that Ianto gave a fuck right now -, and the welsh man quickly waved a waiter over to pay for the wine. Then he helped Jack in his coat and led him out of the restaurant, refusing to let go of him.

They found a bench nearby, and Ianto made Jack sit down and rest for a bit before he allowed him to talk again.

"Thanks, Ianto."

The young man laughed and shook his head. "What for?"

"But I mean it."

"So do I. Look, I'll always be there for you when you need me." Ianto paused and looked away. _Strange thing to say. Never said something like that before._ Clearing his throat, he added: "Besides, if I hadn't asked..."

"No, Ianto, don't do this-"

"... it's partly my fault-"

"No!" Jack had got up and gave him a stern look. "It's only one man's fault. And that man is dead. The memories... they'll fade."

Ianto shrugged, and pushed Jack back on his place on the bench, sitting down next to him. "Okay. Still, for now - rest."

Jack sighed and leaned against the young man. Ianto closed his eyes, and slowly put his arm around the Captain, gently squeezing his arm, holding him.

"Shame, though", Jack whispered with regret in his voice.

"Huh?"

"The date. I spoiled it."

Ianto chuckled. "Oh, you know, I might give you another go."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

oOo

They were strolling back to Ianto's flat, walking closely side by side, and finally, finally able to talk with each other again at ease, as they used to.

"Y'know what - I think it wasn't all bad, that I was away. For the team, I mean. Look at you all - you're great working all together. Had enough time to notice that the past week, when I stood useless in the corner while you ran the show on your own."

"Well, we're Torchwood. We couldn't just go and cry and give it all up, could we?" Ianto beamed at Jack, a proud smile on his face. "And so we didn't."

"No. And you - out in the field now, are we? Should've thought of that earlier, you look really hot when you're all badass."

Ianto laughed. "Yeah, we needed a field agent more than a teaboy."

"Oh, no, don't say that - 'cause you're doing both!"

"Well, here you go - we can do without the Captain, but no Torchwood without my coffee!"

The two men went on with their banter for a while, until they finally found themselves back in front of Ianto's flat. The welsh man stopped and looked at Jack. "You stay over, right?"

Jack shrugged. "If you'll have me..."

Ianto snorted and leered at Jack. "Oh, I'll have you alright!" He grinned. "Y'know, we didn't have dinner. I'm a bit hungry."

"Why, Mr. Jones, you're making me blush!"

"I don't think there's any species out there that could make Captain Jack Harkness blush", Ianto deadpanned. Then, after a short moment, he gripped the older man at his coat, pulled him close and kissed him. "But maybe that", he breathed against Jack's skin, gently pressing another kiss on his cheek.

Jack just stood there, wide-eyed, while Ianto pulled away, getting his key and opening the door. "Coming?", he asked with a smile.

Jack slowly raised his hand to his cheek, where Ianto's lips had touched him, and brushed over the spot, closing his eyes. "Yeah", he whispered, following the welsh man into his flat. He had come home alright.


	14. To Meet You On The Other Side

**TO MEET YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE**

_Angst, TW: Suicide Attempt_

_Jack Harkness, Esther Drummond_

_Words: 1593_

_Coda to Miracle Day, Episodes 8-9. Set at some point in the two months where Esther and Jack hide in Scotland, and Esther has to take care of him. - When __Jack gets shot during the "Miracle", his wound doesn't heal as easily as he's used to. Suddenly, he realizes just _how_ mortal he actually is. And that this could finally be his chance._

_..._

Jack woke up from the pounding pain in his stomach. He groaned, and slowly moved. Damn, he wasn't used to this anymore! Not that he hadn't got shot _before_ his immortal life - after all, he'd been a Time Agent, getting shot every other day was basically in the job description - but since then... he was used to healing fast - no stitching up wounds, not being forced to lie in a bed for weeks doing nothing, not having to rely on another person to get better... by the way, where was Esther?

Slowly, Jack sat up. The pain got worse, and the man instinctively pressed his hands on his stomach. He felt a bit dizzy. And he needed to pee.

"Esther?", he called out in a hoarse voice. "Esther, you're there?"

He didn't get an answer. _Might have gone to the village for food._ Hesitantly, Jack shot a glance to the bathroom. "Ah, screw it!", he mumbled and pushed away the blanket that he'd been wrapped in. He was in pyjamas bottoms, his upper body covered in bandages. Carefully, the Captain put his feet down on the ground. The floor was cold, and a shiver ran through Jack's body.

Then he got up - and barely managed to stay on his feet. God, he was so weak!

_Damn this 'Miracle'!_

Staggering, he moved forwards, feeling slow and helpless, cursing his whole situation; he even stumbled on his way and almost fell.

Finally, Jack reached the bathroom, locked the door, and tumbled towards the toilet.

After he'd finished and turned to get back - his view started to blur. Jack squinted and, with trembling hands, held on to the sink as the world started circling in front of his eyes; for a second, his view went black - and then his legs gave away, his hands, wet with sweat, slid down from the sink, and Jack fell to the ground. He landed hard on his back and let out a painful scream... and his wound again, pounding and pounding and pounding...

He'd put his hands back on his stomach - now he realized that they were wet. Slowly, Jack looked down - the bandages, all too white just a minute ago, were now soaked with the deep red colour of blood. It seemed that the bullet wound had opened up again, maybe when Jack had stumbled on his way to the bathroom.

The man swallowed hard, slowly sat up and leaned against the tiled wall. "Esther-", he called, pressing his hands on his wound to stop the bleeding. "Damnit, Esther!"

He could feel himself getting weaker. It'd been a while since he'd last died of blood loss, but it had happened often enough for him to know the signs. His fingers were getting cold and numb, and he felt so dizzy-

Jack's view blurred again, but behind his eyes, he started seeing things, figures and images, lulling him in - he violantly shook his head, no, he couldn't give in to that!

"Esther!", he yelled again. Blurry pictures taking on shape.

Distinctly, he registered noises from outside of the bathroom. He forced his eyes open, and squinted until his view cleared. "Esther?"

"Jack?" The familiar voice of Esther Drummond, on the other side of the door, finally. "You in there?"

"Yes! Yes, I am!"

"Are you alright?"

Jack fought the urge to let his eyes fall shut and just doze off. "No-"

Jolting at the bathroom door handle. "Jack! You locked the door!" Esther's voice, slightly panicky now, floating in the distance.

_Shit._ Jack groaned. Half-heartedly, he tried to get up, move towards the door, but his efforts only made the blood pump faster out of his wound, so that his view blurred again and he had to lean back against the cold bathroom wall.

With a deep sigh, he closed his eyes. There it was, the figure in the dark, not so blurry anymore. Not as blurry as the bathroom when he opened his eyes.

A sudden wave of realisation struck him. That figure, that person, waving at him, he recognized them. Ianto Jones.

"Ohhh... Ianto-" Jack's voice was nothing but a whisper. He raised one hand, reaching for the image of his lover. He seemed so close, and yet, Jack's fingers touched nothing but thin air.

He had to go further.

There was Esther's voice, somewhere in the distance. "Jack? Jack, open the door! Come on!" Banging against the locked door.

"It's fine", the Captain answered. There was a strange peace to his voice, a peculiar calmness. "It's gonna be alright."

"What are you doing in there? Come on, open that door!"

Jack smiled at Ianto. Ianto smiled back.

He opened his eyes. The bright white of the bathroom suddenly hurt his eyes. "Esther - thank you! See you on the other side, ha... just make it not too soon, yeah?"

"Jack?! Fuck, open that door!"

The man had closed his eyes again, and he faced Ianto and smiled at him. He was so close by now. Slowly, he removed his other hand from his bullet wound as well, and then started fumbling with the bandages. His fingers were numb, he barely felt them anymore.

"You bastard, what the fuck do you think you're doing in there?!"

Anger in Esther's voice. Despair. Fear. She'd figured it out, he guessed.

"Don't worry", he responded. "I'm- I'm putting things right." After all, that was what he did, wasn't it? Bless this Miracle - what- or whoever was behind all this... they had managed what the Doctor couldn't do: Make Jack _normal_ again. Mortal.

"Stop this! You can't die! You mustn't! Not now!"

"Oh, but I can... finally, I can!" Jack's voice was trembling. He held on to that image of Ianto, waving him closer, and he was just too eager to follow.

How often had he died and hoped that this time he wouldn't come back? How often had he wished to follow those he'd lost, and condemned his immortality... and now - he had the chance. He knew that on the other side someone was waiting for him.

"Jack, no! Please, we need you! Think of Gwen!"

Ah, yes, Gwen... Jack remembered how he'd told her that he didn't want to die yet, that it hadn't been enough... looking at it now - why would he bother to live on? Had he forgotten the pains of his oh-too-long life?

"Tell Gwen...", he started. His mind was swirling. "Tell her that I'm sorry. But the Miracle - it fixed me. I had to take that chance. And-" As faint as a breath of wind, he felt his fingers brushing over Ianto's face. "... I'll be with _him_. She'll understand..." His voice faded along with his consciousness, and Jack's head sank down on his chest._ I'm coming_, he mouthed, not a sound leaving his lips, before Ianto's image faded as well, and nothing was left there but darkness.

..

He opened his eyes and let out a deep breath. It took him a minute to recognize his surroundings, the house where he and Esther had been hiding. He was back in his bed.

Slowly, Jack turned his head, and discovered Esther sitting in a chair beside him. The dark bags under her eyes were a blatant contrast to her pale face, the face that now was lit up by a small smile as the young woman looked down to him. "Hey, Jack."

Jack cleared his throat and returned the smile. "Hey", he responded in a weak voice.

"Almost two days."

"What?"

"You were out almost two days. I didn't sleep, you know? Thanks for that."

Jack closed his eyes. It hit him like a slap on the face, and he remembered what had happened - what he had tried to do. He felt his heart sinking. His wound was pounding again, making him bite his lip to withold a groan of pain.

With a sigh, he raised his gaze to Esther again. "I'm-" _No. I'm not actually sorry._

There was something in the young woman's eyes that stopped him from saying anything. He blinked, then looked away, tried to move- a surprised laugh escaped Jack's mouth as he looked at his right wrist, cuffed to the bed.

"Sorry, Jack", Esther started before he could even open his mouth to form a question. "You see, I had to kick in that freakin' door to get to you. Just in time. Won't let you do something that stupid again."

The Captain couldn't help but grin and salute Esther with a short, understanding nod. "Fair enough, I guess."

The woman's smile grew wider and she gently caressed Jack's cheek. "I'm glad you made it." Then she leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Why did you... give in to it? You didn't exactly seem - suicidal - before..."

Jack laughed and shook his head. "Blame the blood loss... I saw someone - someone I lost..." He hesitated and shot a glance at Esther before he continued in a voice that was heavy with guilt and grief. "Someone I loved..."

The expression on Esther's face changed; she frowned and beamed at him with compassion in her brown eyes. "Tell me about them", she asked in a gentle, soft voice, and Jack looked up to her.

A sad smile crossed his face, as he sank into the memories, thinking of where to start. "His name was Ianto Jones, and he made the best coffee in the universe..."


	15. An Unacceptable Tragedy

**AN UNACCEPTABLE TRAGEDY**

_Humor, Fluff_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper_

_Words: 1189_

_Ianto discovers something about Jack that he just can't accept. Fortunately, he can do something about that._

...

Gwen could hear Ianto's disbelieving, irritated voice even before she entered Jack's office. For a second, she hesitated at the door - Ianto fighting with Jack wasn't something that happened often (at least not with the rest of the team around). And it was not necessarily something she'd wanted to get in the middle of. Short glance at the files in her hands. Deep breath. She opened the door and entered the office.

"No, wait - what do you mean, _'never'_?!"

"Well..."

"You mean... not _once _in your immortal life, you have...?"

"Um... no... not yet... didn't get around to it, somehow."

"I can't believe it. I'm _not_ believing this! You can't be serious!"

"Huh - is that a problem?"

"You're asking - you're asking if that is a _problem_, Jack?!"

Gwen cleared her throat. "Boys!"

The two men stopped in their movements. Ianto, who'd stood with his back to Gwen, stiffened and slowly turned around. Gwen raised an eyebrow and bit her lip to withold herself from giggling. Ianto's shirt was halfway unbuttoned, revealing his bare chest, and his tie hang loosely around his neck.

While the welsh man hastily started to clear himself up, Jack walked around his desk and Gwen could see that his belt was undone. Just as if the pair of them originally had been up to something other than fighting. _Shame I didn't walk in to _that_._

"Yeah, what's up, Gwen?", Jack asked, sounding somewhat relieved.

Gwen blinked to get her mind clear. "Ah, yes!" She held up the files in her hand. "Um, I got through those files you gave me. Just what I thought. The alien device is definitely connected to what happened to those families in 1946."

Jack opened his mouth to say something, but before he was able to do so, Ianto snorted and mumbled in a bitchy voice: "Oh, I bet _that _took up your time ever since!"

"Ianto!", Jack hissed and narrowed his eyes at the welsh man. Ianto just shrugged and straightened his tie. Jack sighed and turned back to Gwen who was watching the two men wide-eyed.

"Are you two alright?", she asked in a doubtful voice.

The Captain nodded with a quick glance at Ianto. "Yeah. 'Course we are. - Fine, then I think you should pay that old woman a visit after all. Um, Ianto? Would you take care of those files, please?"

The welsh man glared at Jack for a second and growled an irritated "We're not done here!" before walking straight past the Captain and up to Gwen, now with the sweetest smile on his lips. "Come on, Gwen, I'll make you a coffee before you leave."

oOo

"Here you go!" Ianto put a steaming cup of coffee down on Gwen's desk. "Are you done with those files yet?"

"Yeah", the woman responded, handing her co-worker the papers and reaching for her mug. "Mhm, Ianto, that smells wonderful!"

"My pleasure." The young man smiled and turned away to leave, but Gwen grabbed his arm and held him back. "Hey! You and Jack, are you alright?"

Ianto frowned. He couldn't discuss this with her. She wouldn't understand, would she?

"It's just... we rarely ever see you two fight, so...", Gwen continued hesitantly.

Ianto responded with a deep sigh, raising his eyes to Jack's office. He felt that he should say _something_. "Oh, you know... Jack always says that he's seen it all. I don't even know where to start about that..."

oOo

Jack's gaze was focused on Ianto - who on the other hand didn't deign a look at him while driving home to their flat. It had been a long day at work, and not necessarily because of that freaky alien device they'd found. This just wasn't quite what the Captain had had in mind when proposing a movie night earlier that day_. But how would I know that something like- well, okay, it's _Ianto_. I _should _have known. _

They arrived at the flat - still in silence - and Jack had barely time to get out of his coat before a sulky Ianto already pushed him down to sit on the sofa and then went over to his sacred DVD cabinet. The welsh man found the movie he was looking for after one short glance, turned on the TV and carefully inserted the disc in the player. Just then, he took off his own overcoat and suit jacket, loosened his tie and made himself comfy on the sofa next to Jack. The Captain bit his lip, hesitantly snuggling up closer to his lover, and happy as Ianto cracked a short smile and put his arm around him before pressing _Play_.

Jack couldn't help but grin as he peeked over to the man next to him whose eyes suddenly were locked on the screen with a focus as if the world depended on it. He pressed a kiss on Ianto's cheek and said: "You're cute, you know that?"

Ianto, of course, was having none of the Captain's banter. "Shh, pay attention", he hissed instead, but with an excited sparkle gleaming in his eyes.

Jack chuckled. "You sound as if you wanna test me afterwards!"

"Well..." For a brief moment, his lover's attention shifted and he looked away from the screen to eye the older man up, a mischievous grin on his lips. "Maybe I will. So you better watch closely."

oOo

It turned out to become a wonderful evening after all. Jack realised quickly that he didn't need Ianto's _motivation _to pay attention. The movie was beautiful. Every now and then, Ianto would lean in to share a small tidbit of trivia, his face dreamy in his rapture. And Jack, who barely ever cried at movies, couldn't help it with this one; suddenly, there were tears in his eyes - but Ianto pulled him in closer, and they cuddled up together, holding each other.

After the movie had ended, they stayed like this for a while, just quietly enjoying the other's very presence.

Jack was the one to break the silence, a small smile on his lips. "You still mad at me, Ianto Jones?", he teased.

Ianto shrugged, putting on a pouting face. "Shame's still on you. One does not simply live that long without having seen _It's A Wonderful Life_! And you! You had the chance to go to the pictures back in '46, you daft, old idiot, and you missed it! Had _I _had that chance..."

"Mhm, maybe I'll take you some day... "

Ianto laughed and shook his head. "Wanna play around with the Rift, or do you think the Doctor might stop by and lend you the Tardis for a quick trip back in time?"

"Hey, nothing's impossible, not in our line of work!" Jack grinned and beamed at his lover. "You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down!"

Ianto's face lit up even more, and he leaned over to press his lips on Jack's, kissing him long and hard and passionately. Then, slowly pulling away, he locked his eyes with the Captain's, and whispered smiling: "I'll take it."


	16. Our Normal

**OUR NORMAL**

_Hurt/Comfort, Romance_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Rhys Williams_

_Words: 1771_

_Coda to "Meat", set during and after the episode. The first part is the continuation of Rhys and Jack's talk on their way to pick up the team - that in the episode ends with "You're not gay by any chance, are you?"_

_Written for the Torchwood Fic Week 2015, for the prompt "Perspectives._

...

"Just wished you would've been uglier", Rhys quipped and laughed, making Jack smirk. "You're not gay by any chance, are you?"

The Captain chuckled, and demonstratively let his eyes wander over Rhys' body. "Oh, you people and your quaint little categories", he answered, raising his voice in a suggestive manner.

The other man shot a quick glance at him and snorted. "So, what's that supposed to mean?"

Jack grinned. "Want me to show you? - No, really, you've got nothing to worry about. Gwen loves _you_. And as for me - I got a man."

Rhys' eyes widened. "Oh, do you?", he asked after a few seconds of silence. "And what about him? Does he know 'bout Torchwood?"

Jack frowned. "You've met him, actually." As the other man squinted in thought, the Captain added: "Ianto."

"Ohh-" Rhys slowly nodded. "So, you and him? Didn't notice that you- well, now that I think about it, it makes sense, I suppose."

Jack smiled, wondering if Rhys was now remembering their banter at the Hub. After all, the team complained often enough that he and Ianto already sounded like an old-married couple, and he had to admit that he liked that idea.

"Are you two happy, then?", Rhys interrupted Jack's thoughts.

The Captain tilted his head. "Why wouldn't we be?"

Rhys shrugged his shoulders. "Well, with Torchwood and everything. Doesn't it get to you? I'm just gettin' familiar with this all, y'know, I mean - Aliens, what the hell?! But on the other hand, I've known Torchwood for quite a while by now."

Jack raised an eyebrow, not sure where Rhys was going with this. "What d'you mean?"

"Well, what it does. What it does to Gwen. Changed her." The man snorted. "At least now I can start to understand."

Jack sighed and looked out of the window, his eyes following the passing landscape. "Like you said. Aliens, what the hell. Might change people."

"It's more than that. You said it yourself, you see enough death. Y'know, back when she first told me that she's in 'Special Ops' now, there was something in her eyes. A sparkle, a fire, y'know, as if she'd seen a new world - and she has, hasn't she? But that's not what I meant. 'Cause then there's all the nights she doesn't come home, out with you lot, and when she does, she's tired and exhausted. Sometimes hurt, and not just physically, also- y'know, I remember this one time; I came home, and there she was, sittin' on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket, and crying. And she just said: 'That's what Torchwood does. It breaks you.'"

Jack didn't know how to respond to that. He slowly turned his head to face Rhys. The man glanced over to him and cleared his throat.

"Sometimes... sometimes I'm afraid of losing her - and I don't even mean... that she could- But I'm afraid that one day a woman comes home, and it isn't Gwen anymore."

"I wont let that happen!", Jack hurried to say. "And... as long as she _has _you to come home to - as long as she has this normal life to hold on to... she'll be fine in the end. She's strong, and she's amazing."

Rhys cracked a smile. "Yeah, I know she is. That's why I love her so much." He paused for a moment, before he hesitantly continued. "So, what about you and Ianto? How do you deal with it?"

Jack frowned, startled by the welsh man's question. "Um - I- I guess it's different for us. Torchwood... it's our life. Has been for most of the time. Whatever we do, it's always around us, even when we're not at the Hub, or chasing an alien. I guess we just don't have this... Torchwood life _and_ a normal life. That's why I keep telling Gwen to hold on to what she got."

"You do?", Rhys asked in a suprised voice.

Jack shrugged. "Of course. She's the only one of us who still has that - a proper normal life, I mean. Believe me, I envy her for that." He frowned, and looked away. He had no idea why he'd even opened up to Rhys like that. _Maybe because he was that honest with me. _

"So, you miss normalcy?", Rhys asked. "Can't you ever get away from it all?"

Jack sighed. He thought of the rare weekends that he and Ianto actually spent outside of the Hub - mostly at Ianto's flat, and often with Ianto sleeping half of the day to catch up on the sleepless nights of their full-packed weeks of chasing aliens. There were even less occasions where they actually went away on a small trip. A few hours every month where they actually could forget Torchwood - this was all the "normalcy" they ever got. "Yes, I do miss it", he answered quietly.

Rhys made a right turn and Jack recognized the street where the team was waiting for them. He cleared his throat. "There they are."

The other man shot a glance at him and back on the street. "Right. Uh, Jack - good talk... I guess."

The Captain raised an eyebrow. There was a strange feeling in his stomach. "Yeah."

...

Jack was wide awake. Too many thoughts were swirling around in his mind. Ianto was cuddled against him and groaned in his sleep.

The Captain pondered about the events of the past day, especially about his fight with Gwen about retconning Rhys. To be honest, he didn't even know why he'd been so determined to get the man retconned. After all, half Cardiff knew what Torchwood was anyway, and it would've been only a matter of time until Gwen's fiance would've stumbled over them again. And for Gwen, finally the lies came to an end. In conclusion, not retconning Rhys made more sense than doing so - so what had been Jack's point?

The man sighed. _Tough day._

He still was rapt in thought - already considering sneaking out of bed and finding some rooftop to stand on - as he suddenly noticed that Ianto's breathing changed. The young man had been restless all night, moving around in the sheets, and now he was panting and groaning and flailing. Alarmed, Jack sat up, switched the nightlight on, and pinned Ianto's hands to the mattress. "Ianto!", he called. "Ianto, wake up!"

All of a sudden, the welsh man blinked and stared up to Jack. His mouth opened as if to scream but not a sound left his throat. Jack could see the sweat on his face, and felt the wetness of Ianto's hands beneath his own.

"Ianto", Jack said again, this time softly. Carefully, he let go of his lover's hands and gently carressed his cheek. "It was just a bad dream. Are you alright?"

Ianto gazed at him wide-eyed, then swallowed hard and slowly sat up. "Yeah", he murmured in a weak voice. "Think so. Sorry."

Jack frowned. "What for? Don't apologize for having nightmares."

Ianto cleared his throat, and cuddled up closer to the Captain. He was slightly shaking, and Jack grabbed the blanket and wrapped it tightly around the young man and himself.

"It's over now. Okay?"

Ianto nodded slowly, and laid his head on Jack's shoulder. "Just hold me for a bit", he whispered, and Jack responded with tightening his grip around his lover, and tenderly stroking his back.

"You wanna talk about it?", he asked in a gentle voice, pressing soft kisses onto Ianto's ruffled, sweaty hair.

Ianto laughed nervously. "Oh, it's just... it's ridiculous, never mind."

"Can't be ridiculous if it gives you nightmares."

"If you say so, Sir." Ianto paused, and for a while just stayed quietly in Jack's embrace. The Captain noticed with relief that his breathing soon normalised, and that the shaking stopped. "I dreamed about... today, huh."

"Today?"

"Yeah, um... well, you know, the guy that tried to kill me... I dreamed that-" Ianto stopped. Jack felt a cold shiver running through his body, and he pulled his lover even closer. "I dreamed that there still _was_ a bullet left in his gun, and that... that he shot me."

Jack closed his eyes and stopped in his movements of stroking Ianto's back. He replayed the scene in his mind. He remembered how his heart had skipped a beat as that guy had tried to kill Ianto. And then he had- "Oh, Ianto, I'm sorry", he breathed, burying his face in the young man's hair.

"Told you it's ridiculous - wait, what are you sorry for?"

"I- I just... oh god, that man almost killed you... and I - I didn't even let you rest for a minute, did I? Just sent you straight after him. I should've... should've cared for you, better than I did."

Ianto turned to look at him with a small smile. "Don't, Jack. Don't say those things. Hey, I had the chance to stun-gun them. That was fun."

Jack beamed at his Ianto, always something smart to say. "Bet it was. But still-"

"Nightmares go away", Ianto shut him up with a shrug. "We have them all the time, not a surprise with the things we see. I was scared today, and I was scared tonight, but that is just how things are with Torchwood sometimes."

Just now, Jack remembered Rhys quoting Gwen - _That's what Torchwood does. It breaks you._ He closed his eyes for a moment.

"Y'know what, you really deserve a weekend off. What d'you say, you and me, fancy a trip? We- we could book a flight, some capital in Europe, it'd be so romantic!"

Ianto grinned and nodded. "Oh yeah, that would be quite something."

"Then why don't we just do it?" The Captain squeezed Ianto's hand and moved to get up. "Come on, I get your laptop, and you think about where you wanna go!"

"Oh, Jack", Ianto shook his head with a little chuckle. "You've seen the rift predictions - something's coming through, and it doesn't look nice. We can't leave the others alone with this one."

The grin froze on Jack's face, and the excited sparkle in his eyes vanished. He'd been caught already in the beautiful fantasy. "Oh", he murmured, sinking back down. "I know it's silly... haha... just had hoped... we'd get a bit of... _normal_..."

"Jack..." Ianto's voice was soft and as gentle as his smile. He raised his hand to cup the older man's face. "Hey, we'll save the world instead. Not bad either, is it? That's what we always do. And you know, this - this is just... our normal. "


	17. What's The Point If You Can't Have Fun?

**WHAT'S THE POINT IF YOU CAN'T HAVE SOME FUN?**

_Humour_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato_

_Words: 1045_

_What does Team Torchwood do when they're bored? Having a bit of fun!__ Inspired by the quote from the Torchwood Novel "Consequences" (from the short story Virus): "That time we came into your office, and we'd switched clothes just to make you laugh. Gwen was in my suit, Tosh was in scrubs, and me and Owen were wearing Gwen and Tosh's clothes. You laughed so hard, the coffee came out of your nose."_

_Written for the Torchwood Fic Week 2015, for the Prompt "Costume"._

...

"So, why again are we doing this?"

"Oh, come on, Owen, stop complaining! It'll be fun!"

"Yeah, right. You can talk, Gwen, look at you - you don't even look silly in that suit!"

"Are you afraid of losing your dignity, Owen? Bit late for that anyway."

"Oh, shut it, teaboy!"

"Guys! Get it together! Jack's back and going up to his office!"

"Thanks, Tosh. All ready?"

Team Torchwood exchanged some scrutinizing looks. It was a calm day that had followed a rough week of non-stop rift activity which had found its climax in the previous day. They'd chased a carnivore alien and met one of Jack's old accquaintances from before their time. In the end, they had managed to kill the alien - but Jack's friend had been hurt in the course of action. Today, however, they were stuck with boring paper work, though they all agreed that they really deserved a day off. And what did Team Torchwood do when they were bored? Well, today they'd had the simply _hilarious_ idea to switch clothes.

Gwen was in Ianto's suit, Tosh in Owen's Jeans, shirt and medical scrubs(all of which hang loosely on her body and made her appear tiny in the clothes). Ianto had wedged himself in Gwen's black trousers, her shirt, and even put on her leather jacket. Now he felt like he barely could move his arms anymore. But the best one was Owen, who'd switched into Tosh's clothes that happened to consist of a low-cut blouse and a skirt.

While eyeing one another up, the doctor snorted and commented: "Oh, Jack'll like that, Ianto. Trousers that tight..."

The girls started giggling, and Ianto grinned. "Bet you're right. Though I'd watch out for myself, if I were you, Mr. Fancy-Skirt. Should wear that more often, really brings out your legs nicely!"

Another round of laughter, and Tosh offered: "I agree, you should keep it. I've got a few more like that one anyway!"

Owen grumbled something - though he still had a smile on his lips -, and then pushed his friends forward. "Come on, then, let's go before I change my mind!"

The team slowly entered the Hub's central area and gazed up to Jack's office to see if the man was still there - he was, sitting with his back to them, flicking through some files.

"Alright", Gwen whispered and moved forward, leading their strange little procession up to the Captain's office. It was the funniest image - the four of them giggling and whispering while sneaking along as quietly as possible, trying not to attract Jack's attention.

Gwen uncomfortably fumbled with her tie, and Tosh tried to avoid stumbling over the too long trouser legs of Owen's jeans. The doctor meanwhile complained that the tight skirt only allowed him to make small steps, while Ianto bit his lips to withold himself from groaning as Gwen's trousers pinched his skin in the most inconvenient places. As they reached the office, they stopped awkwardly in front of it. "Should we, I don't know, knock?", Gwen asked, and as the rest of them shrugged, she just went for it.

"Mhm-mhm", came the answer from inside the room, and after another short moment of hesitation, it was Ianto who reached for the door handle - another exchange of excited looks - and opened the door.

They entered one after another, lining up next to each other and trying to keep their faces straight. For a few moments - nothing happened. Jack was still going through that file and skimmed another page before closing it, reaching for his coffee and, while taking a sip, looking up to them - at which point he snorted and splurted his coffee all over his desk. Jack stared at his team for a second - and then, he burst out in laughter, leaning back in his chair, his whole body shaking.

Gwen, Owen, Tosh and Ianto desperately tried to stay serious, but it was just too hilarious.

As Jack's laughter stopped while the man was gasping for air, Ianto crossed his arms (there was an alarming sound of protest against the straining coming from Gwen's leather jacket) and asked with a raised eyebrow: "What's so funny, Sir?"

That sent Jack over the edge once more, and this time, they all joined in, washing off all the tension that the stress of the past week had left on them.

As the Captain had managed to calm down, he jauntily got up and stepped around his desk towards them, carefully eyeing them up individually. "Huh, look at that, Gwen Cooper in a suit - elegant. - Nice scrubs, Tosh. Baggy style. Neat. - And Owen...", Jack playfully slapped the doctor's arse. "You're really sporting that skirt!"

"Hands off, Harkness!", Owen growled but there was a grin on his lips.

Jack chuckled, and then stopped as he laid eyes on Ianto, extensively sizing the man up.

"Bit of a tight fit", Ianto quipped and, remembering he wasn't alone with the Captain, started blushing.

"Yeah", Jack breathed, pulling Ianto close. "Need any help getting out of it?"

"Here we go!", Owen groaned, rolling his eyes.

Jack laughed and winked at him before leaning in to Ianto to press a kiss on his cheek (and whisper in his ear, unheard by the others: "We should go shopping sometime and extend your wardrobe a bit...").

Then he stood back and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You know, actually I feel quite offended that you didn't invite me to your little game of dressing up."

"We needed someone to appreciate the view, Sir", Ianto responded with a shrug.

Jack leered at him. "And I do. - Well, I hope you know what you signed up for. You're gonna have to stay like this for the rest of the day, now that you've started it!"

"No way!", Ianto and Owen exclaimed simultanously.

"Got a better idea", the doctor continued. "It's nothing up with the Rift today, and it's been a rough week. How 'bout we take the day off and go to the pub? Drinks are on me."

"Well, I guess that's a compromise." Jack's eyes wandered regretfully over his team. "Though it's a true shame to take all the fun away!"


	18. Mourning

**MOURNING**

_Angst, Romance_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Toshiko Sato, Gwen Cooper, Owen Harper_

_Words: 934_

_Coda to the ending of "End of Days". After Jack was killed by Abaddon, Ianto mourns for him._

...

He had hoped to never feel like that again.

Ianto closed the door of Jack's office and leaned against it for a moment, slowly exhaling and trying to keep himself together.

A bit earlier, he'd gone down to the morgue where Gwen was watching over Jack's body. She'd been there all day. Ianto had wanted to ask her to give him a minute, had wanted a bit of time for himself, but he hadn't come that far. As soon as he'd walked up the aisle, Gwen had positioned herself in front of Jack's body in a protective manner: "No! You're not freezing him yet, Ianto! I believe in him! He's going to come back!"

Ianto figured that he could have explained things but he hadn't. He'd just nodded and left.

Instead, he'd come here, to Jack's office. The very sight of all the man's belongings made Ianto's heart ache in his chest. He hadn't thought it would be like this - well, yeah, grieving for Jack, of course - but _this_, this hole, this tearing emptiness inside his chest, it was all too familiar. He remembered feeling like this after Lisa's death.

Ianto's lower lip started trembling, and he bit it to withhold the tears. He had to stay strong.

He'd watched Jack coming back from death after Owen had shot him, and so, of course, Ianto had shared Gwen's hopes in the beginning - god, he'd clung onto them. But it didn't happen. Gwen would realise that sooner or later as well, she was the stubborn sort, so the team would let her take her time, but eventually she'd have to let go, just as they all did.

Slowly, Ianto stepped further into the room that still had all the traces of Jack's presence. Absentmindedly, he straightened the files on the Captain's desk. As he raised his glance, he saw the grey coat, hanging in its usual place, and it was just too much. Slowly, Ianto moved over and took it of the hook. He buried his face in the coat, inhaling Jack's scent, still so present as if he'd just worn it, and finally, finally, he allowed himself to let it out and cry.

oOo

Days passed. And the empty hole in Ianto's heart grew. Gwen was still sitting with Jack, but Ianto had passed the state of hope. His mourning was silent and well hidden under the professional armour of his suit. He was good at keeping his grief to himself.

It was easier than after Lisa. Back then, he'd been suspended for a month, condemned to do nothing, alone with his thoughts. Now he had his work. Even though it didn't help that it was work at _Torchwood _where every bit of his surroundings reminded him of Jack.

Tosh had come down to the Archives earlier - where Ianto had stared at some file that Jack had filled in, and had remembered all of the Captain's complaints and excuses when he didn't want to do the paper work. She'd asked him to help her upstairs with the clean-up and rewiring of the work stations. There wasn't all that much to do, and Tosh didn't really need him there, but Ianto understood the gesture. They worked together in silence, neither of them much of a talker but both thankful for the other's company, and the welsh man felt some weight being lifted from his soul.

Then, all of a sudden, Tosh started running across the Hub. Ianto wondered what had happened, if Gwen had finally come out of the morgue, and he turned around.

She had. And with her was Jack, alive, Jack who now with a smile welcomed Tosh's embrace and held her tight.

Ianto shot right up. A part of him wondered if this was really happening, and he felt numb and dizzy as he walked over to Jack, unable to turn his eyes away from the man for the split of a second.

And then he hesitated. He just about had realised for himself that Jack meant more to him than a shag or a friend, so how could he know about the Captain's feelings? What did Jack expect from him?

Awkwardly, he stretched out his hand - but Jack pulled him in for an embrace, and Ianto leaned into it and held the man tight. He buried his nose in Jack's shoulder, breathing in his wonderful, unique scent - "_51st century pheromones, you people have no idea"_, never would Ianto forget _that _conversation - and he wanted to cry again, but this time out of happiness.

Then Jack kissed him, and Ianto closed his eyes and returned the kiss whole-heartedly. He'd never talked about his _thing_ with Jack to the others, and neither had Jack; judging from Owen's recent pejorative comment about Ianto dreaming to be Jack's part-time shag, he guessed that they suspected something was going on between them, but they didn't know. For Ianto, that had always been just fine, he liked to keep quiet about it - and that had nothing to do with the fact that Jack was a man or that he was their boss, but with the way of Ianto's nature. Now on the other hand, he couldn't care less about what anyone saw and what they thought.

Only reluctantly, Ianto let go of Jack when the Captain spotted Owen and (just as reluctantly) pulled away. But it was fine now - Jack was back, and the emptiness in Ianto's heart began to vanish, being filled up with something else, warm and true and beautiful. Yeah, now it would be alright.


	19. We're Still Here Against All Odds

**WE'RE STILL HERE AGAINST ALL ODDS**

_Romance, bit of Angst_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, The Doctor_

_Words: 2850_

_What if... __What if Ianto had never died, but lived to become an old man? __What if he lived to see his hair turn white, and Jack was still by his side?_

_After all those years of alien fighting, Jack and Ianto have retired(sort of) from Torchwood. And despite their own little conflicts - Ianto envying Jack's ability to still go out with the team, and Jack aching to travel the universe once again - their love for each other stands strong._

* * *

_Only one thing really matters: _  
_we're still here. we're still here. _

_Through the static, _  
_through the ashes _  
_we were brave. _  
_through the perils _  
_of endless narrow escapes, _  
_we're still here. we're still here_

_\- Sleeping at Last, We're Still Here_

* * *

Jack was strolling down the street absently. Just minutes ago, he'd said goodbye to the team in the Hub, and now he was on his way home. The days that he'd lived in the Hub, as the leader of Torchwood Three, were long gone. Years had passed and things had changed, and now, he usually jumped back in only for the big, flashing "world's-at-stake" adventures anymore, every once in a while. Those dashing young people in the new team got along pretty well on their own, even without an old immortal like Jack. Didn't surprise the Captain, of course - after all, Gwen had been their leader for a couple of years before she had died, killed in action... the only way for her to go out. The corners of Jack's mouth pulled up to a small smile at the memory of his brave, amazing Gwen; then his thoughts drifted off once more. There was a lot on his mind.

But already had he reached the house that he called home these days, and he walked through the front yard up to the door, turning the key in the lock, entering the place. A short look around, then he stepped through the backdoor into the garden.

And there he was, sitting at the wooden garden table, with his back to Jack - glasses on his nose, staring at a laptop screen, lean fingers flashing over the keyboard and feeding some code into the device.

Jack's pondering face lit up. "I'm back", he said with a smile in his voice, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around Ianto from behind, pressing a tender kiss to his cheek.

"Jack," Ianto turned his head to face the Captain. "So, done with saving the world again, huh?"

Jack grinned. "All thanks to you and that software. So, actually, _you_ saved the world. Again."

Ianto laughed, but there was something bitter in the tone of it. "Yeah, 'course. But it's not as much fun as it used to be."

Jack sighed and kneeled down besides the welsh man. "We've been over this so often", he mumbled in a quiet voice, gently caressing his lover's wrinkled face, and stroking the thin, snow white hair. "But the world's safe for now. So let's forget all that for a while. I won't leave again anytime soon, I promise."

"Unless the rift decides not to play along that way." Ianto laughed again, slowly taking off his glasses and setting them on the table. "I know you want to comfort me, Jack, but it doesn't matter what you say - I'm still feeling useless, sitting here, while you're out there, with them, having all the fun."

...

Time is a strange thing when you're immortal - it doesn't leave its traces on you, well, at least no visible ones. Still, one year could stretch like a century - that's how it had been back when Faith had first told Jack how long he had to wait to meet his Doctor again. Much later, buried deep in the ground underneath Cardiff, he had lost all concepts of time - a century or a second - it all felt the same in the course of suffocating and coming back to life, and suffocating again. In recent times though, one year went by in a moment, all too fast and all too rushing.

Yes, the years had passed, leaving not a trace on Jack.

The years had passed, and Ianto had aged. And every wrinkle, every little affliction made sure to remind Jack that, while he had forever ahead of himself, Ianto did not.

And he cursed every year, every day, every second that flew by so fast and careless.

Ianto was now 76 years old. And with Torchwood, this was quite a thing... Jack reckoned that Ianto was one of the longest living Torchwood members ever.

That, of course, didn't mean that the job hadn't left its mark on him... oh no... Ianto had been merely in his thirties when a venomous alien had got to him. It'd bitten him in his leg and had almost killed him. For three months, Jack had spent day and night at the welsh man's bedside as he'd fought against the sickness in his body and the delusion of his mind. Eventually, Ianto had got better, but he would never go out in the field again. The alien bite had left him with a heavy limp, and his inability to go out with the team had left him with depression... After a while, they'd known that they couldn't go on like this anymore, and finally, Jack had passed on his leadership of Torchwood to Gwen, and bit by bit, he and Ianto had retired... sort of. They'd traveled together, and seen as much as they could of the world. They'd tried to live a domestic life - but, of course, Torchwood never really let them go.

...

"Jack? Jack!"

Ianto's voice dragged the Captain out of his thoughts. "Sorry, you were saying?"

The welsh man sighed and stood up from his garden chair. "Come on, let's go inside. I'll make us some coffee."

Jack straightened and put an arm around Ianto's back; the man leaned against him for support, and they slowly made their way into the house. "I was asking", Ianto started after Jack had closed the door behind them, "How's the team doing? Any news from the Hub?"

Jack smiled. "Oh, they're fine. Pat's giving David a bit of a hard time, but, well, you know them. Alex did great in the field today."

"Yeah, she always does, doesn't she?"

Jack shot a glance at the welsh man. Ianto smiled, but in his voice there'd been the slightest tone of jealousy.

The Captain couldn't really blame Ianto. Alexandra was young, smart, and talented, and everyone in the team knew that she "secretly" fancied Jack. And he, well... he couldn't deny how much he liked her back... but he also knew that Ianto had no real reason to be afraid.

He gently wrapped his arms around his lover's waist from behind, his lips brushing over the soft, wrinkled skin of Ianto's neck while the man was fumbling with his coffee machine. "Jack", Ianto exclaimed giggling. "Come on, let an old man work in peace, or do you want me to spoil the coffee?"

Jack grinned and obediently retreated to sit down at the kitchen table, but his eyes were locked on Ianto, watching the man in a strange, happy trance.

Ianto Jones, making coffee. Some things never changed. The coffee machine was even the old one from the Hub - since nobody else had managed to produce a decent beverage from it (definitely Alien tech!), Ianto had taken it with him when he and Jack had finally retreated from their, say, full time jobs at Torchwood, leaving the field to Gwen as the leader of a fresh, young team. Now, although Jack often watched the welsh man making coffee, it never bored him. Instead, he found himself indulging in memories, recalling so many happy moments... sometimes, it really was the little things that mattered the most.

After a while, Ianto came over with two mugs of coffee, and sat down next to him. "So, world's safe, and that's it?", he quipped, watching Jack carefully.

The Captain hesitated for a moment, then he shrugged his shoulders. "Same old, as always."

Ianto slowly nodded and lowered his glance. "You know... I - I saw _him_. When you returned to the Hub, the SUV's camera was still on."

Jack's heart skipped a beat, and he closed his eyes for a second. "Oh", he murmured under his breath. Ianto didn't need to elaborate - the Captain knew who he was talking about. And so, he started to tell his lover the truth.

/

Yes, Team Torchwood had saved the world, just another tuesday - or so Jack thought. Until he returned to the Hub. Because there, he was greeted by the sight of a very special blue telephone box. Jack figured that the aliens they'd fought, the threat they'd faced, had caught the Doctor's attention. He didn't know what to think - he didn't know how to feel. For a moment, he just stopped. And then, the Captain hurried out of the SUV and ran towards the TARDIS. _"Doctor!"_, he shouted. _"Doctor!"_ It had been years since he'd last seen the Timelord. Sure, he still came to Earth, saving the day in his quiet way without expecting any reward, but usually, he barely left a trace - and to stop by just for the old times' sake? No, that wasn't the Doctor's manner. But now, the Captain saw the TARDIS, and all he could think of was to run, run and make sure that it wouldn't disappear, that the Doctor wouldn't just leave.

He had almost reached the blue box as its doors opened and a man stepped outside. Jack stopped on his way, and his eyes wandered over that unfamiliar figure in front of him. Still, he recognized him immediately. So the Doctor had regenerated once again (once? how could Jack know - might have been more than once). Now, he was tall and slim, with short, blond hair... and such a young face!

But his eyes betrayed him - so very, very old. Jack couldn't estimate the time that had passed for the Doctor since their last meeting, but he reckoned that it had been long.

He now moved forward slower than before, greeting the Timelord with a nod. _"Doctor."_

The Gallifreyan approached Jack with wide arms and pulled him into a tight, long hug. After they'd parted, Jack watched the man closely. Then, he glanced towards the TARDIS door. _"Where's the Companion?", _he asked, balancing his voice between concerned and lighthearted.

_"Oh, there's no one just now. Like a Lone-Wanderer-Adventure."_ Jack liked this new Doctor's voice. It was soft and high pitched - almost a boy's voice - but at the same time, it carried all the wisdom and burden of the ancient Timelord.

_"Yeah? Since when?"_, he pressed Doctor didn't answer, and Jack cleared his throat. _"So, this today - guess you were involved in saving the planet's ass, huh?"_

_"Just a bit." _

The two men started talking - exchanging stories, things that had happened since their last meeting. Most of the time, the Doctor was speaking. Finally, after a minute of silence had indicated that enough tales had been shared, Jack asked: _"Why today?" _

And then, the Doctor gave him an answer he never had expected: He invited the Captain to come with him - but it was more than this. It wasn't just a casual "Come along, if you want to, I don't mind", no, Jack could sense how very serious the Doctor was, how much the Timelord wanted him.

/

"Oh, it seemed so easy in that moment...", Jack smiled a hapless smile, and looked up to Ianto. "Just... get into that TARDIS, fly away with him, leave this place behind... Oh, I wanted to go with him. Wanted it so much it hurt."

Jack had always loved Ianto's eyes - they were stunningly beautiful, of course, just as the man as a whole - but moreover they were gates to his soul. Even when he hid behind that cool manner of his, when his suit became an armour, and his sarcasm a fortress - his eyes would betray Ianto and mirror his true feelings. And they were so deep - so many years of knowing them, of staring into them, and Jack still got lost in their magic. And that hadn't changed in all these years; Ianto's eyes stayed forever young and old at once. As Jack looked into them now, they gave away nothing.

The Captain could have lied, of course, could have told some story of the Doctor simply checking in on him after saving the planet, the Doctor showing him his new face so that Jack would be able to recognize it- but this wasn't the right way, not for this. And besides, Ianto wasn't stupid.

"Yes, I stood there with the Doctor, two immortals in our own right, and I wanted to run away with him. Hell, he's got a time machine. Could've returned to this spot five minutes later, you wouldn't even have noticed!"  
Ianto raised an eyebrow, and his voice sounded slightly offended as he stated: "'Course I would have."

"... I know you would've. But you get the idea. I mean... just think: How long have I been rotting on this planet now? How many people have I loved and lost? How many times have I saved this world, and was the prize really worth it? And he, he wanted me - _really _wanted me this time! Oh, Ianto, I wanted away so badly! I have lost so much, I deserve a break, this world owes me a break! I am done with this planet and everything on it!" Jack hadn't even noticed how passionate and aggressive his words were. Now he stopped for a moment, blinked, looked at Ianto. "_Almost_ everything."

The welsh man nodded. He tried to put on a smile but it fell from his face before it was even there. "So, why didn't you go with him?", he asked after a pause, quietly.

Jack closed his eyes. "Because if all these long lives that I've lived have taught me one thing, then it's that the easy choice is almost never the better one." He felt a tear roll down his cheek; then Ianto took his hands and gently pressed them. "The funny thing is", he continued, "that if the Doctor came back right now, if he'd ask me again... it wouldn't be any easier. I- I was so tempted. He wanted me with him, you know, really wanted me... But- but I know that - had I gone with him - I would have regretted it. Not today, not tomorrow, not in a month. But eventually... And who knows if there would've been be a way back for me then..."

"And so you decided to stay", Ianto said in a soft voice, and the Captain opened his eyes to look at the man. "And what for? For an old man with a limp, and for a planet that needs saving all the time and spits you in the face as a reward."

"Well... sounds like me, right?" All of a sudden, Jack snorted, and then started to laugh for the ridiculousness of it all, of this situation, of his whole goddamn fate. With sparkling eyes, he watched the man in front of him. God, Ianto was so beautiful, with all his wrinkles and scars and the white hair. In moments like this, the Captain could just stare at him forever, and he tried to memorize the welsh man, just as he was now - head tilted and squinting at the immortal - to save the picture forever in his mind. Slowly, he leaned over and gave him a tender kiss. "I need to correct myself", he muttered with a smile. "I'm not done with this planet yet. Not as long as _you_ are still on it."

Ianto snorted and returned the smile. Even after all these years, he started blushing at Jack's almost cheesy line, before he responded, grinning: "And I love you, too."

Jack sighed happily. "Y'know, I've been thinking - maybe we could get out for a while. The team can manage, they're all brilliant. And it's been almost a year since we've last been up at the cottage."

Ianto started snickering, and the Captain raised a questioning eyebrow. "It's just - I still can't really believe this - us, havin' our own cottage on the countrycide. I'm picturing Owen's reaction right now."

"He'd be disgusted by all the grass", Jack added with a giggle, a nostalgic smile on his face at the fond memory from oh so many years ago. "Well, what do you think? Yes or yes?"

Ianto shrugged and bit his lip. "Not before friday, I'm afraid. I've got that doctor's appointment next week because of my hip, remember? God, I really do sound like an old man. What are you still doing with me?"

The Captain sighed. He'd forgotten about that. For a the briefest of moments, the image of the Doctor flashed back into his mind, pushing the TARDIS doors open and inviting Jack to come with him. It went away as fast as it had come. "Right now, I'm taking care of you", he responded, and lifted Ianto up bridal style. "What'd you say to a nice massage upstairs?"

Ianto grinned, tightening his grip around Jack's back, and leaning his head against his chest. "I'd say 'yes, please'."

...

Sometimes, it doesn't matter how fast or how slow time passes. Sometimes, all those flying years of happiness are worth the century-long hours of regret and mourning.

Sometimes, it didn't matter that Jack knew he would have to say goodbye to Ianto eventually; it didn't matter how much longer he had the welsh man by his side... not as long as he could relish every second with him and keep it in his heart, as a memory for the moment when time would stop flying and start creeping once again.


	20. Still the Same Old Story

**STILL THE SAME OLD STORY, A FIGHT FOR LOVE OR GLORY**

_Romance, bit of angst, bit of fluff_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper_

_Words: 3152_

_Some days at Torchwood are bad. Others are worse. But Jack tries to make up for it, and surprise Ianto with something special._

* * *

Ianto loved watching good movies. As often as possible, when the Rift allowed the team a quiet night off, he spent the evening at his flat, cuddled under a blanket together with Jack, and let himself be absorbed by a magnificent, distinct world on screen. And more than anything else, he loved himself some classics: the black and white, the old mechanisms of special effects, the plots that'd been scandalous originals to their time, all that just appealed to him. They also brought back memories of his childhood, some of the few good ones - he remembered seeing those flicks for the first time together with his father, whenever the old man went to the movies with him.

In some way, movies made it easy for Ianto to forget everything around him, and to let go of the horrors he saw at Torchwood way too often.

...

Few days on the job were really good days - without any catastrophes or alien invasions or weevil attacks. Most were sort of shitty, others were bad. This one had been worse.

They had been chasing this alien intruder who turned out to be not as primitive as it'd seemed at first glance. It was clever - wanted to get information about Torchwood, and eventually, it caught Jack and Ianto.

Jack died that day. Several times. But that, well - that happened every now and then. The Captain didn't even really wake up between the kills. He had felt the pain of the first bullet as it had entered his chest and thrown him backwards. The rest was somewhat of a blur, and the next thing Jack clearly remembered was when he woke up to find Gwen leaning over their dead alien captor.

No, him being killed, even multiple times, wasn't the worst. But the alien had forced Ianto to watch. It'd chained the young man to the wall, and tortured him by killing Jack over and over again, trying to get the information it wanted. After Gwen had come in and finished the bastard, she hurried to get Ianto out of the iron shackles. His wrists were bloody from his attempts to free himself, otherwise he seemed okay - physically. As soon as Gwen had unlocked the cuffs, he rushed over to Jack who still lay somewhat confused on the ground, bathed in his own blood and not really sure what was happening around him. Ianto took the Captain in his arms and held him as he usually did when Jack had died and was just coming back. His eyes were wet from tears but his face showed only traces of the torture he just had gone through. Jack struggled to sit up, and now pulled Ianto even closer. None of them said a word. Gwen mumbled something about checking out the rest of the building, feeling that the two men needed a moment for themselves. After she had gone, Ianto pulled away for a second, a single tear running down his cheek, and then leaned forward to kiss Jack with all the passion of his heart.

...

Jack loved watching Ianto. He shared the young man's passion for old movies; often they brought back some nostalgic memories to him as well, from the time when he first had seen the film - maybe in a cinema in the forties or fifties, with a young girl or a pretty boy by his side... but nothing compared to the joy he got from watching Ianto when he was caught up in one of his favourite movies. Especially since their day job brought them so much action and excitement, Jack was just as glad as his lover when they had an evening off to themselves. Cuddled up on the sofa beneath a blanket, some snacks on the coffee table in front of them, maybe a glass of wine, an old black and white flick on the telly - those were their moments of happiness.

...

They had barely entered the Hub when Ianto was already gone; Jack saw him disappear in the Archive. The welsh man still hadn't said a word since Gwen had got them out, and the Captain decided that it was probably for the best to leave him alone for a while. However, after he'd changed into fresh dress - throwing the torn, bloody remnants of his old clothes right into the trash bin - and had talked things through with Gwen, Jack entered the dark, narrow corridors of Torchwood Three's archive. "Ianto?", he asked, keeping his voice down in the heavy silence of Ianto's domain.

"Back here, Sir", the young man's voice answered from the far end of one of the corridors. He sounded calm and composed, but then, Jack knew how good Ianto was at disguising himself. The Captain put his hands in his pockets and slowly strode down the narrow path. Ianto stood in the dim light of a small lamp in front of some alien artifact, noting something in a file in his hands. He turned around as Jack walked towards him, and slowly put the paperwork down.

They looked at each other for a minute, then Ianto blinked and took a deep breath. His lip trembled as he reached out and carefully stroked Jack's chest. The older man took Ianto's hand into his and kissed it. "I'm here", he whispered. "It's okay."

Ianto nodded, and finally, his firm demeanour broke. Just like he had done back at the alien's place, he wrapped his arms around Jack and held him tight, and the Captain returned the embrace, tenderly caressing Ianto's back.

"I'm sorry", the welsh man whispered in a hoarse voice, and Jack violently shook his head.

"Don't!"

Ianto sighed and pulled back to look at his lover. He pressed his forehead against Jack's and closed his eyes. "Today... that alien, what it did to you... it just... got to me."

"It's over now. I'm okay. We're safe."

Ianto laughed bitterly. "Safe..." He opened his eyes and fixed his lover with a deep glance. "I thought you-"

"I know." Jack took Ianto's face into his hands and caressed the man's cheeks. "I know." He leaned forward and kissed him, and Ianto kissed him back hard and loving and demanding before pulling back.

"I... I'll be fine", he mumbled, glancing around, picking up the pen and file from the shelf. "You know me best. Just, well, I need some time alone... that's me."

Jack cracked a smile and nodded. "I know." He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Ianto's cheek. "I'll leave you to it, then. Whenever you need me..."

"Yeah."

The Captain slowly walked away when Ianto raised his voice once more. "Oh, Jack?" He turned around and faced his lover.

"Ianto?"

"Tonight - rift permitting - we stay in? My place, some movies? Something nice, romantic even, to lose ourselves in?"

Jack nodded. "You bet."

...

One of their all-time favourites was _Casablanca_. There was a special magic about this movie that had fascinated generations of audiences before them. It was in Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergmann in their roles as Rick and Ilsa; it was in Captain Renault's cynical snark, in Sam's play of _As Time Goes By_. Ianto loved his classics but _Casablanca_ had a special place in his heart.

...

Jack told Gwen that he'd be going home - to Ianto's place - a bit early, and sneaked out without the welsh man noticing. Tonight, Ianto deserved - needed - something special, and Jack had an idea. He had planned on doing this for a while but he knew that this night was the perfect occasion. It'd started with that old forties suit of his that he'd dug up a few weeks ago - he hadn't shown it to Ianto yet, didn't want to spoil the perfect surprise, but he knew that the style was remarkably close to Humphrey Bogart's suit in Casablanca.

When Jack left the Hub this evening, he made sure to take that suit with him. And some other stuff.

...

Ianto came home about an hour later. He felt awful. The day had wrecked him as it was but after Gwen had told him that Jack had left early, worry had crept into his mind and despite Gwen's assuring words that their Captain had seemed quite alright when he went off, Ianto couldn't help it. He'd seen Jack die today, had seen him getting shot, poisoned, slaughtered, and God knew what that had done to him, even though he'd pretended to be just fine. Maybe Jack needed Ianto right now, and what had he done? He'd hidden himself in the Archives and sent Jack away.

Accordingly anxious, Ianto was now climbing the stairs to his flat. He fumbled to get the key into the hole, tossed the door open, already calling Jack's name, and - stopped. The sound of a piano playing came to his ears, hoarse and rasping like from an old record. Ianto's eyes widened in surprise as he recognized the tune, and he raised an eyebrow as he found his flat immersed in a soft, yellow light. "Jack?", he called again, now more curious than anxious. He stripped off his overcoat and hung it on the hook, then walked around the corner into the living room.

A semi-transparent cloth was hung over the standard lamp and created the warm, yellow light that the room was immersed in. The sofa was covered with a big, fluffy looking blanket; on the coffee table stood a bowl of popcorn and next to it lay a copy of _Casablanca_. The piano music came, indeed, from a record player that was set up on the floor near the wall - just now, Dooley Wilson started to sing, _"You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh..."_

And there, in the doorway to the kitchen, stood Jack, and he was the most remarkable of it all. He was dressed in a white suit that looked like it was just as old as the record of _As Time Goes By_ and was not unlike the one that Humphrey Bogart had worn in _Casablanca_. He wore a black bow tie with it, too; his hair was combed back, and he leaned in the doorframe with a grin that was both charming and excited.

Ianto needed a minute to take it all in. He still was agitated because of the day and its worries, and now because of the unexpected scene he'd come home to. The welsh man looked around in his flat, opened the mouth to say something and closed it again as he, the master of sass, didn't find any suitable words.

Jack chuckled quietly, hands in his pockets, and watched Ianto. Then, as if suddenly remembering something, he reached behind and turned back to tape a sheet of paper to the kitchen door - in ornate letters, _Rick's Café Americain_ was written on it. Then, with an overdrawn impression of Humphrey Bogart's accent, Jack greeted Ianto: "Welcome to Rick's, Sir."

Ianto started laughing. He tossed the keys, which he'd still held in his hand, to the floor, and laughed from the bottom of his heart. Jack wiggled his eyebrows and put out his hand. Ianto smiled, and went over to take it.

Jack lead him in the kitchen where Ianto found the next surprise. The dinner table was set for two; it had a fresh, white table cloth, neatly folded napkins, and in the middle of it stood a discreet yet pretty bouquet of flowers in a vase. There was also a bottle of fine-looking red wine on the table, and from the stove, a lovely smell reached Ianto's nostrils. The man gazed at the room in amazement, and Jack gently gathered him in his arms, and pressed a light kiss to his cheek. Then he lead Ianto to one of the chairs and pulled it back for his lover. Ianto still hadn't found any words to say, so he just sat down and stared at Jack in wonder. The Captain took place on the other side, an excited sparkle in his eyes.

Finally, Ianto managed to speak. "So... so if you're Rick, does that make me Ilsa?"

Now it was Jack's turn to laugh. "Well, if you wanna put it like this..."

"Because I feel like I should be wearing a white dress or something."

Jack grinned and shook his head. He reached over the table to take Ianto's hand. "No, you just be yourself. This is about you."

Ianto knit his eyebrows. "Me?"

"I wanted to... give you a nice evening, and I've had this idea for a while, and you know... you deserve it. This whole day, it's been-"

"Jack?", Ianto interrupted his lover, and the Captain stopped in his words. "Thank you." The welsh man pressed Jack's hand. He felt his view blur and struggled to repress a tear of heartfelt emotion.

Jack simply nodded, and they locked eyes for a moment, silent confessions of love for each other in a wordless dialogue.

The Captain finally cleared his throat and stood up. "Let me serve you dinner, Mr. Jones."

Tonight, they ate without any rush or hurry (expectant of the rift alarm going off or something) but enjoyed their meal. They ate slowly, talking about this and that, laughing, cherishing the other's mere presence. The stress of the day and its painful events were soon pushed far away into the back of Ianto's mind during their loving banter. Jack continued to make impressions of Humphrey Bogart, and Ianto had his fun quoting the cynic comments of Captain Renault.

After they'd finished and sat for a while, Jack put the record on anew, and once again _As Time Goes By _started playing. He went over to his lover, and gently pulled him to his feet. "Dance with me", he whispered, and with a smile, Ianto put one arm on Jack's hip, and cheek-to-cheek, they swayed to the music.

_"And when two lovers woo, they still they 'I love you', On that you can rely... No matter what the future brings, As Time goes by..."_

Jack gently lifted Ianto's chin up and kissed him. They were merged into a loving embrace, and stayed like this even after the song was over.

After a while, Jack took the other man's hands and leaned his forehead against Ianto's. "May I invite you to the living room for a movie night?"

Ianto nodded contently. Then he grinned and stepped back to eye Jack up. "Though not even Humphrey Bogart can keep up with this. I hope you know that you'll have to wear this suit more often from now on."

Jack chuckled. "Glad you like it."

Ianto tilted his head in appreciation. "Oh yeah..."

Jack wiggled his eyebrows and reached out to the table for his glass of wine. He put it to his lips - then changed his mind and raised it towards Ianto. "Here's looking at you, kid."

The welsh man laughed and started blushing while the Captain took a sip of his wine. "Wow. Wow, that _was _cheesy. But I love you for it."

Chuckling, Jack put the glass away and linked his fingers with Ianto's. "Come on!"

Ianto let Jack guide him to the living room. The Captain made sure that Ianto sat comfortably on the sofa and basically wrapped him in the cozy blanket before he rushed over to the TV and put _Casablanca_ on; then he joined his lover and they cuddled close together.

The opening titles played, the narrator opened with the prologue, and Jack slipped into a mood of nostalgic happiness. He shot a satisfied glance towards Ianto - and froze. Ianto was staring at the TV but it was a dull, unseeing stare, as though he wasn't really watching. Jack wasn't sure what to say - or whether to say anything at all - so he just pulled Ianto even closer and gently pressed his arm. Ianto blinked - as if he'd just snapped out of a trance - and briefly shook his head before he looked at the TV again, frowning and trying to focus on the movie.

Jack couldn't help it. "Everything okay?", he murmured and stroked Ianto's arm.

Ianto peeked at him for a short moment, and smiled. "Yeah, yeah..."

For a minute or so, they both kept silent, following the events on the screen but neither of them really focused. Then, Ianto reached for the remote control, paused the movie and turned to face the Captain.

"Jack, today, with that alien - how much did you... I mean when you... did you feel..." He didn't finish the sentence but Jack knew what he'd wanted to say.

The Captain shrugged his shoulders in a helpless gesture. "Had better days, and had much worse. When it first shot me, I felt it. But the rest... it's all a bit of a blur. It must have _looked _so much worse to you than it _was _for me! Me, I don't really remember waking up in between... only after Gwen came in, when it was all over..."

Ianto gave a short laugh. "That's... that's good. And - you're okay now?"

Jack frowned. "Of course I am. I'm always okay in the end."

The welsh man sighed and nodded. "I know - but it's hard. Watching you die is never easy... holding your lifeless body in my arms and hoping that you do your magic trick and come back... today I couldn't even do _that_ for you. Just had to watch while it did all those ... _things_ to you, and I couldn't do _anything_ to help you! I was so afraid that this time, it was too much, that this time, you wouldn't come back to me..."

"Oh, Ianto..." Jack took the man's face into his hands and locked eyes with his lover. "I'll always come back to you", he whispered in an assuring voice. "I don't want you to worry about me. It's okay. _It's okay_."

"I- I know." Ianto's voice was almost steady, but his eyes still reflected the fears he couldn't shake off, the fright of the day's events.

"Is there anything I can do? Anything to help you?", Jack asked desperately.

Ianto shook his head. "No." He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "No, those are my demons. But then, worrying about the ones you love, it's just natural. And watching them suffer- but I'll be alright." He glanced at Jack and cracked a smile. "But thank you for this evening. For everything. Couldn't have thought of a better cure."

Jack returned the smile, and they cuddled close together. Ianto pressed _Play_, and for the rest of the night, they tried to forget all about Torchwood and this day and their fears. From time to time, Ianto would tighten his embrace around Jack, as if to assure himself that his lover was still by his side, and Jack would then press a kiss on his hair, just like a silent promise.

Tonight, they had found their Paris.


	21. Crazy Days & Daring Nights

**CRAZY DAYS &amp; DARING NIGHTS**

_crack mostly, bit of smut implied_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Toshiko Sato_

_Words: 966_

_Jack just wants to have a bit of fun. Ianto says no - or does he?_

* * *

"You can't be serious."

"But I am."

"Jack - no!"

"Hey, _you_ told me that I could pick. And it would be, ohhh, kinda daring, don't ya think?"

"Daring?" Ianto Jones was standing in Jack's office, his arms crossed in front of his chest, staring at the Captain as if the man was a lunatic. Then he shook his head and huffed. "You're impossible, you know that?"

Jack grinned and stepped towards Ianto. "Am I sensing a 'yes' coming up there?"

"Absolutely not."

The two men were now standing only a few centimeters apart, looking at each other - one wearing a suggestive grin, the other with a stern and determined 'NO' written all over his face.

Then Jack decided that it was time to change his tactics. He reached out and took Ianto's hands into his, glanced away and, with a pout, pleaded: "Oh, please, Ianto. It's been a terrible day with the Rift and that Blowfish on the loose, we deserve a bit of fun..."

"We seem to support totally different concepts of _fun_."

Jack laughed and raised his eyes to the other man. "Oh, come on, I know you better than that. You got some dirty, dirty mind, isn't that true, Mr. Jones? So are we gonna do this now, yes or yes?"

There was the faintest hint of a sparkle in Ianto's eyes before he knit his brows and, once again, firmly stated: "No."

...

Sarah Owens had had a terrible day at the office. Her boss complaining all the time, the printer not working, and that idiot Barney who'd managed to crash the servers and had brought the whole department an hour of overtime. Her head was still aching as she now strolled over the Roald Dahl Plass - and Tom, her boyfriend, babbling some nonsense next to her didn't really make it better. _Can't he ever just shut the fuck up?!_

Sarah sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, then resignedly put her hands in the pockets of her coat when suddenly-

"Did you see that?!", she interrupted Tom's chatter and poked him.

Tom looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "What d'you mean, love?"

Sarah stared at the spot near the Water Tower where just a few moments ago... she wasn't getting crazy, was she? She hadn't been imagining things? Slowly, she stepped closer towards the tower.

"Sarah! What's the matter, darling?", Tom called after her.

Sarah frowned and slowly shook her head, examining the spot all over. But there wasn't anything there. _Dear God, that day really was too much!_ "It's... nothing, I think", she answered her boyfriend and, shaking her head again to clear her mind, turned back to join him. "Thought I saw somethin' over there."

Tom linked arms with her as they continued their way. "What'd you see?"

Sarah laughed. "You wouldn't want to know. It's just this day, I guess. Crazy day. Come on, you can take me out somewhere nice tonight. Nice and quiet. I need to get that picture out of my head."

"What picture?"

But Sarah just shook her head and put her arm around Tom, throwing one last glance back to the Water Tower - she could have _sworn_, for just a second she'd seen two men there. Naked, as it were. Doing... stuff.

Crazy day.

...

On the Invisible Lift, Jack and Ianto stood wrapped in a tight embrace, barely breathing, their eyes following anxiously the woman who now turned their back on them and went back to the man she was with. Eventually, the couple continued their walk, even though the woman turned back one more time. And then, finally, finally, they were out of sight. Ianto let out a deep breath and relaxed his grip around Jack.

"I told you it was a bad idea. But no, Captain Jack Harkness needs to prove to the world that there is no better use for an Invisible Lift than to have sex on it. Bloody hell!"

Jack laughed. "Oh, come on, it's not like you hadn't been enjoying yourself." He winked, his finger trailing down Ianto's bare chest. "Besides, it wasn't _me_ who nearly fell over and stepped out of the perception filter's range."

"No, but it _was _you who... pushed me."

"So that's what you're calling it these days."

"Shut up!"

Jack bit his lip to stop himself from laughing. Ianto crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked around. The place was empty now but even though he indeed _had_ enjoyed this little adventure, he wasn't gonna risk to be seen again - and that woman definitely had seen something, even if just for a split second. Poor thing. The welsh man turned to Jack again and shrugged. "Well, moment's gone now. Let's finish this somewhere where we won't be charged with indecent exposure if we make one false step."

Jack sighed. "Yeah, you're probably right, sweetie. But there really was something to it. Imagine doing this again when-"

"I'm gonna stop you there! I said, just this once."

The Captain grinned. "Yeah, you _said_ 'Absolutely not' before."

Ianto glared at the man and grabbed him by his wrist to push the button on the Vortex manipulator that would send them both back down. "One more word and I will get dressed and go home immediately."  
"Hmm, can I come with you?"

They were moving down already, and Ianto just opened the mouth to snap something back at the Captain when-

"Jack? You still in?" Toshiko's voice called through the Hub, echoing up to the two men. "I found something on that alien device that we- JACK? IANTO? WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE? ARE- ARE YOU NAKED?"

Ianto mouthed a silent _'fuck' _and turned red with embarassment and rage. "Now, now", he hissed at Jack. "You can do the explaining!"


	22. To Look Back and Drown in the Memories

**TO LOOK BACK AND DROWN IN THE MEMORIES**

_Romance, Hurt/Comfort_

_Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones_

_Words: 3297_

_One night, Jack finds Ianto looking at some photographs from his time at Torchwood One - from when he was happy with Lisa Hallett._

_Set in late series 1, somewhere after They Keep Killing Suzie_

* * *

The Hub was immersed in the dim lighting of night mode. The base, most of the time filled with noise and action, was quiet now except for the background-buzzing of a few machines and computers working, constantly checking for Rift activity. From one second to the next, all the lights could switch on and all the alarms could go off in case of an emergency.

Jack really hoped that wouldn't happen tonight. He entered the place with a sigh, looking around with a resigned face, as he always did when he realised that this was his home, his only home. And he was alone.

He'd been to the pub with Owen, Tosh and Gwen. They all had deserved the break after another busy day at Torchwood, and Jack pleaded to whatever higher powers there might be that, just for once, he wouldn't have to take back the free day that he'd promised the team.

He also wished that Ianto had been out with them tonight. Although the welsh man had won his friends' trust back, he barely joined them in their night outs. Jack had wanted to ask him to come with the team tonight but, as usual, the man had disappeared before the Captain had gotten a chance to do so.

Jack wished he could do more for Ianto... he felt a deep connection with the man, something just beginning to grow and thrive. It wasn't just about them shagging every now and then. Jack felt that Ianto could, that he should be more to him than the pretty coffee boy with benefits.

The Captain snorted as he realised that his thoughts were circling, once again, around Ianto Jones. He wondered what it was about the man that he couldn't get him out of his head. He tried to shrug his thoughts off and went up to his office. He hung the greycoat on a hook and stretched himself before opening up the floor hatch that lead to his own little domain. He was just about to climb down the ladder when his eyes caught a glance of the CCTV screens that were displayed on his desktop. The camera installed in the boardroom showed that the room wasn't empty: there, slumped on a chair, was Ianto Jones.

Jack's eyes widened in surprise, and he wondered what the young man was still doing here. A nearly hopeful grin lightened up his face as he thought of quite a number of ways the two of them could spend the night together. Or even that day off.

Jack got up and walked towards the boardroom, his resignation replaced with excitement, some kind of happiness even that almost seemed inappropriate. He tried to compose himself, and slowed down in his movements. He put his hands in his pockets and strolled around the corner, looking decidedly casual.

"Ianto? What are you still doin' here?"

The welsh man startled as he heard Jack's voice, and spun around. "Jack! Oh, um- I- I just- How... how late is it?"

Jack frowned. He hadn't expected Ianto to be so upset. Absently, he checked his watch. "Just past midnight." As he looked again at the other man, he noticed some photographs in his hands, and curiously raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, oh, um. I shouldn't be here, should I? Sorry. Gonna leave now. Sorry." Ianto seemed to be in complete distress, fumbling around with the pictures in his hands, standing up, sinking down on his chair again, fiddling with his tie, reaching for the half-empty coffee mug on the table.

"Calm down, it's alright. And stop apologizing." The Captain stepped forwards and gently put a hand on his arm. "Are you okay?"

Ianto closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he smiled at Jack but it was forced. "'Course I am. I'm always okay, Sir. Gotta go now."

The Captain shook his head and, gently but firmly, pushed the welsh man back down as he tried to get up. "No, wait a minute. Please, Ianto - tell me what's wrong!"

Ianto hesitated. Jack could see the conflict in the young man's eyes, the fear, the pain, the insecurity - then he sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"It's... it's nothing. Well, I mean... I mean... just - memories", Ianto murmured. His voice was weak, and he sounded exhausted. His eyes met Jack's, and then he blinked and glanced away again before he added, merely whispering: "It's - Lisa." He tightened the grip around the pictures in his hands; then, with shaking hands, he held them out to Jack. The Captain took them in surprise. He reached out to caress the other man's cheek, then turned his eyes to the photographs. There were only a few, tidbits from an earlier life caught on camera.

One had been taken at a beach, and although it was undoubtedly Ianto in the picture, the young man kneeling in the sand, wearing nothing but yellow shorts, and sticking out his tongue to the camera, seemed a completely different person compared to the Ianto Jones that Jack knew. Next to him was a young woman in a bikini, a big grin on her face. The Captain recognized her as Lisa Hallett. They both looked so happy.

The next photo, the couple on a nightout, all done up and pretty. Ianto was hugging Lisa from behind, and the woman looked at him with a sparkle in her eyes.

Then the two of them in front of the London Eye, an awkward selfie, taken by Ianto, that cut half of their faces off.

Ianto and Lisa on a park bench, kissing. Ianto's eyes were closed, and his hands were running through Lisa's hair.

The last picture had been taken in a bar. It was the most random snapshot, out of focus, someone raising a pint to the photographer in the foreground. But in the background, Ianto and Lisa were dancing. Her hands were on his shoulders, his were placed on her hips. They were looking at each other, smiling, and it seemed like they had forgotten the world around them. This photo was the most battered, with small creases all over it and a bit of the right corner torn off. Jack stared at it for a long time.

"This one...", Ianto murmured, and Jack raised his eyes for a moment to find Ianto looking at the picture as well. "We... we'd had a fight that day. Some silly stuff, don't even remember what it was about. But then, there was some shit going on at work. Occasionally, it wasn't just all office work at Torchwood One. That day, one person of Lisa's department almost died. I- I remember how relieved I was that Lisa was okay, and how silly and small and dumb our fight had seemed all of a sudden. So we settled it, and... this place, there was this bar near Canary Wharf, all the Torchwood guys used to go there - it's gone now, just like Torchwood One - just like all my- and we went there that evening, Lisa and I and a few friends, and - you know, we'd thought about it for a long time... about moving in together, arguing where to move and who would bring what piece of furniture, or if we should just buy new stuff and all... and... and then, that night, we decided on it. Just like that." Ianto stopped, and once again, Jack looked at him. The young man's cheeks were red, and his eyes, staring into the distance, were filled with tears. "But, of course, that was just two weeks before the Cybermen and the Daleks and the end of everything."

He blinked and let out a sob, then covered his face with one hand and turned away from Jack.

The Captain slowly put the pictures down on the table. It was terrible to see Ianto in such pain... and he only just began to understand. Of course, he had _known_ what Lisa had meant to Ianto; of course he had _known_ that in life, she hadn't been the half-converted cyberman that he'd had to kill in the end. But now, seeing the pictures, hearing Ianto's story - now he _felt _it, too. And the way she was laughing in the photos, the way she was looking at her boyfriend...

Jack knew what Ianto had lost; he knew it well, for he had experienced the same far too many times, and his heart clenched in his chest.

Without further thought, he leaned down to the young man and kissed him tenderly, then wrapped his arms around him and held him tight.

Ianto seemed thankful for Jack's caring. He clung onto him and, quietly shaking, cried in his arms.

After a while, his breathing calmed, and the weeping stopped. He loosened his grip around the Captain, and Jack hesitantly let go of him. Slowly, Ianto got up. His face was swollen from crying but now there was some relief and gratitude in his eyes.

"Thank you", he mumbled in a rough voice. "The thing is... and I know that it has been a while now since- oh, but- but I don't blame you for anything, not anymore - just in case you were thinking..."

"It's okay. I know", Jack shook off Ianto's comment. His thoughts flashed back to the fateful night in which he'd killed the last bit left of Lisa Hallett. He remembered it well enough.

Ianto nodded and swallowed. "It's just that... sometimes I... I miss her. I mean, I always miss her, huh. But sometimes it's worse than usual."

"Ianto, you don't have to explain anything. Or justify yourself. I understand you, believe me, I do."

The young man looked at Jack with a frown. "Yes. Yes, you do, don't you?" He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.

And then, Ianto Jones did something remarkable - he stepped forward and pulled Jack into a long and tight embrace, taking the man by surprise.

"What's that for?", Jack laughed.

"Thank you. And you need a hug, too, Jack, once in a while."

The Captain smiled and leaned into the embrace, gently patting Ianto's back. "Yes, I do."

"Well", Ianto eventually took a step back and cracked a smile. "I guess I should leave now, shouldn't I?"

Jack shrugged. "Should you?"

To that, the welsh man didn't answer immediately but bit his lip, as if he was thinking whether to say anything or to just ago. He decided on the former. "You wanted to know what I'm still doing here, right? Hmm. I did forget about the time... got lost in the... memories. But it's more than that. I didn't _want_ to go home right away. It's... it's empty there, and lonely, and full of bad thoughts and regrets." Ianto paused and cleared his throat. "Thought I'd get enough of that tomorrow anyway, on that cheery 'day off'. Gonna be proud of myself if I manage to stay sober, to be honest."

Jack was taken aback. Ianto's words were so bitter, so full of usually well-hidden pain. He reached out to take the young man's hands. "Ianto, I had no idea... do you always feel like that?"

"Depends. Mostly on how tired I am at the end of the day, and sometimes things are better when we manage to save a few people without any casualties. Makes it all more... bearable, I guess." Ianto laughed joylessly.

The Captain didn't know what to answer to that. He knew the feeling Ianto was talking about. And he so wished to be able to help the young man.

"Sorry, that's some bleak mood tonight, isn't it? Can't help it, it seems. But really, thank you, Jack. For being there. For listening. It's good to have that sometimes. Anyway, I'll be off now. I'm quite exhausted. Long day, it's been. Maybe, I'll just pass out when I get home and sleep through till Monday. But call me in, anytime, if anything's up." Ianto ran his hands through his hair, the lie of an half-smile on his face; he took the photographs from the table and put them in the pocket of his suit jacket. Then, after a moment of hesitation, he leaned forward and gave Jack a little peck on the cheek. "Good night, Sir", he whispered, and turned to go.

"Wait." Jack grabbed the young man's wrist and held him back. He shrugged his shoulders and mumbled: "You know... maybe you should stay. You can sleep in my bed if you want."

Ianto laughed - almost an honest laugh this time - and shook his head. "Um... I don't think I'm up to it tonight. Sorry."  
Jack's eyes widened. "Oh- no, Ianto, I didn't mean to- I didn't mean that. But I thought, maybe you shouldn't go home tonight. You can sleep at my place. _Just _sleep."

Ianto frowned. "You serious?"

"Yes. I think it might do you some good."

The young man glanced away and took a deep breath. "To be honest - I still don't want to go back to my flat", he mumbled. "So maybe, you're right."

Jack smiled at him affectionately, then let go of his wrist and offered him his hand to take instead. "Trust me on this. Come on."

Ianto took his hand, and the Captain lead his friend back to his office and down the stairs to his domain. Ianto sat down on the bed and leaned against the wall. His eyes fell shut, and in the dim light of the narrow room, Jack saw how exhausted the man actually was. He cleared his throat and put his hands in his pockets. "Well... you know where the bathroom and everything is. You gonna be alright?"

"Hmm, yeah", Ianto murmured and clumsily started undressing himself. Eventually, he crawled under the blanket and sleepily squinted at Jack. "What about you?" He moved closer towards the wall, making room on the small bed. "You comin' in?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders. The truth was that he would've loved to. Holding Ianto in his arms, the warmth of another body, of _Ianto's_ body, with him... he rather liked that thought. And yet, he wasn't sure if it was the right move. The two of them, what they had - there was the shagging, yes, and a friendship that was somehow different from his relationship with the rest of the team. But this - after Ianto had opened up to him tonight, it seemed so intimate... maybe too intimate, too fast. Jack was afraid. "Not tired. Don't sleep much", he replied and grinned. Ianto studied him carefully for a few moments; then he nodded and closed his eyes, a faint sigh escaping his mouth. "Goodnight, Jack."

"Sleep well, Ianto."

The Captain watched the welsh man for a while, watched how his breath got slower and more steady, and saw his tensed features relax. With a small, content nod he turned and, as quietly as possible, climbed the stairs to his office.

It was true; Jack didn't sleep much, or at least he didn't need all that much sleep, and it really didn't bother him to stay awake for tonight if that meant that Ianto would get some.

He went back to the boardroom. The half-empty cup of cold coffee was still standing on the table, and Jack took it to the Hub's small kitchen and rinsed it. He wandered around the Hub, then tried to do some paperwork - but eventually, he was drawn back to his bedroom. There, Ianto was lying on his belly, quietly snoring, sound asleep. Jack smiled. After a moment of thought, he pulled up a chair from the corner of the room and sat down next to the bed. He wasn't sure if it was right but he liked the idea of watching Ianto sleep. _And I can make sure to be here for him if he needs me, in case he wakes up._

_..._

Ianto rolled around in the sheets and yawned, gradually waking up. With a small groan, he blinked and opened his eyes. As he became aware of his surroundings, he startled in confusion - why wasn't he at home? Slowly, the memories of the previous night came back to him, and the young man leaned against the headboard of the bed with a smile. He felt rested. He hadn't slept through a whole night in days - Jack had been right about this change doing him some good.

Speaking of Jack - there he was, slumped on a chair next to the bed, his head bowed forward: asleep. Ianto grinned, and, as quietly as possible, stood up and got dressed. Then he pondered whether he should just leave. He cast away the thought, it felt wrong and unthankful. Instead, the man decided to do what he did best: make some coffee.

He was just filling in the coffee machine as he heard steps behind him, and turned around to see Jack strolling towards him, hands in his pockets, a sleepy smile on his face. "Morning", he greeted Ianto.

The welsh man nodded towards the clock hanging on the wall nearby. "Rather 'noon'", he replied with a grin.

Jack chuckled. "So... how are you feeling?"

Ianto exhaled deeply. "Better. A lot better. Slept well through the night." He turned his attention to the coffee machine once again, switched it on and fondly ran his fingers over it. "I'm - fine, actually. Really am, this time."

"Glad to hear it." Jack stepped at Ianto's side and leaned against the counter.

"What about you, though?" Ianto looked at the Captain apologetically. "That chair didn't look too comfortable."

Jack laughed and shook his head. "Ianto Jones, always thinking of everyone else first."

"Well, it was _your_ bed I slept in."

"And look at you today. I'm glad that you did."

Ianto lowered his eyes and nodded. "So am I." He took a deep breath and smiled at the Captain. "Just makin' coffee, you want some?"

"Are you kidding? I'll _always_ want your coffee."

As the young man took out two mugs and started to pour the hot, black, sweet-smelling beverage, Jack asked: "So, what you gonna do then? I mean, for today? Goin' home?"

Ianto shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "I don't know. Should I?"

"You tell me."

"I mean... I could stick around... for a bit. Only if you'd like me to, of course... or, um, do you have any plans?"

"Someone's gotta stay close, mind the Rift, ya know... so, I guess that means no."

The two men glanced at each other. Jack wore a playful smirk, and Ianto bit his lip with a grin.

"Could get boring all on your own, don't you think?", Ianto asked.

"Ohhh yeah, afraid so..."

"But if I stay - surely, we'd find _some _way to make it interesting, wouldn't we?"

"We surely would, Mr. Jones."

"Could play a few games."

"Some special games."

"Involving my stopwatch, perhaps?"

"Perhaps."

"Huh. Then I guess it's my duty to stay, Sir."

"All up to you."

The moment of tense silence that followed their banter was broken by Ianto leaping forward and, throwing his arms around Jack, kissing the man hard. Jack responded by spinning them around and pinning Ianto against the wall, opening his mouth to let Ianto's demanding tongue in.

Standing on the counter, all forgotten, their coffee was getting cold.

...

Hours later, in the late afternoon, Ianto and Jack lay in each other's arms on the Hub's small sofa, panting, exhausted, and satisfied. Ianto's head was lying on the Captain's chest, and he listened to the man's heartbeat while Jack affectionately caressed Ianto's hair.

"Jack?", Ianto mumbled and raised his eyes to his lover.

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad you made me stay last night."

Jack wrapped his arms tighter around the young man and bowed his head to press a kiss on his forehead. "Yeah", he whispered. "Me too."


End file.
